The Safe Schools Coalition Blog

If Ever There Was a Time to Talk … Five Teens Have Killed Themselves in September

2010-10-03T22:08:00.000-07:00

by Beth Reis

Five teens in the last three weeks had been so severely brutalized by peers for being gay that they felt the only answer was suicide.

First, Billy Lucas, age 15, hung himself in his grandmother’s barn in Greensburg, Indiana. Billy wasn’t out if he was even gay – you don’t have to be gay to be harassed about it. Then came middle school student 13 year-old Seth Walsh of Tehachapi, California. Then 18-year old college student and violinist Tyler Clementi jumped off the George Washington Bridge (between New Jersey and New York). The next day, in Houston, Texas, straight-A student Asher Brown, age 13, shot himself. Less than a week later, 19-year old Raymond Chase hung himself in Providence, Rhode Island.

We have to talk about it!!! Talking about suicide doesn’t make people commit suicide. Talking about bullying doesn’t make people bully. And talking about gay people doesn’t make people gay. Please, please take some time this week to talk with your classes about both.

What your students need to know about suicide and self-harm:

People who are considering suicide usually give signals.
There are concrete things you can do if you see what might be signals:

Show you care. Something like, “I’m here if you feel like talking.”
Bring it up. Something like, “Are you thinking about hurting yourself?”
Get help. Something like, “Let’s talk to someone. I’ll be there, too, if you want.”
If they won’t talk with a parent or someone at school, do it yourself.

What your students need to know about bullying:

Bullying, harassment, cyber-bullying and assault can lead to suicide.
You don’t want to live with knowing that what you did or allowed a friend to do led someone to take their life.
Bullies need an audience. Refuse to participate.
Bullies often fly under adults’ radar. Make sure adults know what’s happening.
Harassment is illegal. The students who broadcast footage of Tyler Clementi before he killed himself may get as much as 5-10 years in jail.

What your students need to know about gay, lesbian, bisexual & transgender (GLBT) people:

Who you like – whether you are GLB or Straight – has nothing to do with whether you’re a good person.
How masculine or feminine you are – whether or not you’re the way people expect you to be – has nothing to do with whether you’re a good person.
GLBT people can be as mentally healthy, happy, and loved as anyone else.
GLBT people have made awesome contributions to the world we all share.

IT’S TIME TO TALK:

SUICIDE …

The Youth Suicide Prevention Project suggests that you don’t want to glamorize or dramatize events like these recent suicides. But you DO need to talk with your students. Discussion questions might include these:

What kinds of things stress you and your friends?
What can you – or your friends -- do about the stress? What are some options?
If your friend was considering suicide, what could you do? What would you do?

BULLYING & HARASSMENT …

What kinds of things do people in our school get harassed about?
What can you do if you see it happening? What are some options?
What if it happens to you? What are some options?

LGBT PEOPLE …

What do you already know about lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender people? What stereotypes have you heard that you know aren’t true?
What good things have lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender people done for the world?
If you – or your friend – were lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender where could you go to find friends and support?

Resources for adults:
Youth Suicide Prevention Project
Bullying & Harassment Background, from Seattle Public Schools
Maine’s Best Practices in Bullying and Harassment Prevention: A Guide for Schools and Communities
Safe Schools Coalition, addressing LGBT Issues in schools, headquartered in Washington, serving schools everywhere
Safe at School, a new report from the Williams Institute at UCLA addressing the school environment and LGBT safety through policy and legislation

Resources for the classroom:
Look, Listen, Link and Help Every Living Person, suicide prevention curricula for middle and high school, respectively, from the Youth Suicide Prevention Project

Let’s Get Real and Straightlaced ... films and discussion guides from Groundspark about bullying for middle school and gender for high school, respectively
Lipstick and Who I Am … films and discussion guides from Scenarios USA written by youth, performed by pros & discussion guides, about friendship, coming out, and more for middle and high school
Lesson planning guides for integrating LGBT issues into the fabric of the classroom, from the Safe Schools Coalition

Resources for youth:
ReachOut.com … Get Through Tough Times
Raven Days
Teens Against Bullying
Safe Schools Coalition’s YOUTH page

Mississippi Safe Schools Coalition all featured in clips. "Fighting for gay rights" on CNN tonight and tomorrow night

2010-06-14T13:19:00.000-07:00

Check out CNN tonight and tomorrow at 7 pm central (8 pm eastern). Ceara Lynn Sturgis, Constance Leighann McMillen, Mississippi Safe Schools Coalition all featured in clips. "Fighting for gay rights" - The Mississippi Safe Schools Coalition is a student-run group advocating for gay rights in Mississippi. Watch the CNN clip here: "Fighting for gay rights"
and see Mississippi Safe Schools Coalition.

Matthew Shepard’s legacy - looking back and ahead on this anniversary.

2009-10-12T11:14:00.000-07:00

Matthew Shepard was murdered eleven years ago today.

"... despite the passage of time and increased cultural visibility, the realities faced by LGBTQs today are 'no different than when Matthew Shepard was murdered."
~ Charles Robbins (Executive Director and CEO of The Trevor Project.

Please read this excellent article:
Matthew Shepard’s legacy :: The fight continues
by Scott Stiffler, EDGE NYC, Monday Oct 12, 2009.

Just Another Student Coming Out Story...

2009-09-15T17:25:00.001-07:00

An eighth grader on my floor whom I taught when she was a sixth grader - and when I was "Ms. K" - stopped by my classroom at the end of the day today along with a friend of hers (whom I also taught as a sixth grader). I asked how she has been over the past year or two, since I was on a different floor last year and rarely got the chance to see their class during that time.

While she was updating me on her new teachers and how it feels to "rule the school" in eighth grade, the student added that she "has a man." I responded "Oh, yeah? What's his name? Is he in our school?" She looked at me, paused for a moment, and said "No, he's not in this school... And actually, I'm lying. I have a girlfriend!" She gave me a big smile at first but then immediately proceeded to say "But you're the only one who knows about it." I reassured her of my understanding of discretion, saying "Well, none of my current students know that I used to be Ms. K - at least not yet - so I understand keeping things quiet. Don't worry."

She proceeded to tell me that she and her girlfriend have been dating since May. (She has the date they began dating painted onto the strap of her backpack). Apparently she thinks her mom and many other people in her community have an idea that she's gay, but she's not worried about negative responses because - in her words - she is "too gay" for anyone to bother her about it. (I interpreted this to mean that she is so confident about her identity that nobody would try to give her any trouble about it.) She anticipates that people in her life will be relatively understanding and allow her to lead her life as she chooses. At one point in the conversation, she added "I love reading books about anything gay, or same sex. Woman and woman, man or man, I love it. I can't get enough. Anything, I tell you." Her uninhibited enthusiasm and excitement were inspiring.

What moved me the most about the conversation was how casual it felt. The student made it clear that she was completely comfortable approaching me to share this update, even though she had only spoken with a few close friends about it. The impromptu conversation this afternoon became one of those rare moments when I receive concrete feedback - in this case, two years after the fact - that at some point I did something to make a student feel safe and good about herself. That is one of the most gratifying things to know as an educator, even if I didn't necessarily know it at the time.

Back to School!

2009-09-10T18:04:00.000-07:00

Week One of the school year is almost over in Brooklyn, which means that it's back to the Safe Schools Coalition blog for me!

Though I changed my legal name - first, middle, and last - over the summer, I opted to remain "Mr. Krywanczyk" at my school this year. "Mr. K" is an integral part of my identity there, and I wasn't able to change my name with the Department of Education early enough to give my school and coworkers adequate notice (by my personal estimation). After meeting my three new classes of sixth graders I find myself hoping that my trans-ness won't come up. Maybe that's delusional of me, since I taught some of our current eighth graders as "Ms. Krywanczyk" two years ago. However, I discovered on my arrival for in-service on Tuesday that I had been moved to a different floor from last year, which may increase the chance that my history will not arise in my classroom. Only time will tell.

The most immediate challenge for me this year stems from the fact that all three of my classes are CTT classes. This isn't a problem, per se, it's just that I've never taught a single CTT class before. I think that collaborating with a co-teacher who will be in my room every period and working with a larger number of students with IEPs is a great opportunity, but also a significant change. My co-teacher has been working with CTT classes for twenty-odd years, which is exciting. I already love working with her and have learned from her, too, which is a good sign. After Day Two, I feel hopeful!

Press statement: Task Force Action Fund applauds hearing on school safety through bullying prevention

2009-07-08T08:41:00.000-07:00

Task Force Action Fund applauds hearing on school safety through bullying prevention
July 08, 2009
http://www.thetaskforce.org/press/releases/pr_070809

MEDIA CONTACT:
Pedro Julio Serrano
Communications Coordinator
(Office) 646.358.1479
(Cell) 787.602.5954
PJSerrano@theTaskForce.org

WASHINGTON, July 8 — The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force Action Fund has submitted testimony to the United States House of Representatives Subcommittees on Early Childhood, Elementary and Secondary Education and Healthy Families and Communities of the Committee on Labor and Education, highlighting the destructive effect of bullying and harassment on lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) students and families. The Task Force Action Fund urged passage of the Safe Schools Improvement Act, which would fund school programs to prevent bullying and harassment on the basis of actual or perceived sexual orientation and gender identity.

Statement by Rea Carey, Executive Director
National Gay and Lesbian Task Force Action Fund

"Schools should be places of safety, not fear. Yet, lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender children and young adults, children and young adults who are perceived by peers to be LGBT, and the children of LGBT parents all remain at high risk of aggressive bullying and harassment. Sadly, the nation has recently witnessed many youth suicides that were caused by aggressive and unremitting school bullying targeted at a student's actual or perceived sexual orientation or gender identity. This year, for example, Carl Joseph Walker-Hoover, an 11-year-old in Massachusetts committed suicide because he faced daily and severe anti-gay bullying. As such examples demonstrate, unsafe schools can have profoundly destructive consequences.

"Bullying and harassment motivated by homophobia, biphobia and transphobia are national problems deserving of federal legislative attention. The Task Force Action Fund welcomes federal measures to increase school safety that are cognizant of the specific prejudices faced by LGBT students and families. As one such measure, we ask Congress to pass H.R. 2262, the Safe Schools Improvement Act, introduced by Rep. Linda Sanchez. The Safe Schools Improvement Act would help schools deal with bullying and harassment that target a student's actual or perceived identity or associations with persons or groups on the basis of race, color, national origin, sex, disability, sexual orientation, gender identity or religion. It would send a strong and clear message that schools have a duty to actively protect all students, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity."

To read the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force Action Fund testimony, click here.

Download a high-resolution photo

To learn more about the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, follow us on Twitter: text@TheTaskForce.

–30–

The National Gay and Lesbian Task Force Action Fund, founded in 1974 as the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, Inc., works to build the grassroots political power of the LGBT community to win complete equality. We do this through direct and grassroots lobbying to defeat anti-LGBT ballot initiatives and legislation and pass pro-LGBT legislation and other measures. We also analyze and report on the positions of candidates for public office on issues of importance to the LGBT community. The Task Force Action Fund is a 501(c)(4) non-profit corporation incorporated in New York. Contributions to the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force Action Fund are not tax deductible.

Nathan OUTloud interview with Kim Pearson regarding TYFA and the "Rob, Arnie & Dawn Show"

2009-06-16T14:13:00.000-07:00

In Nathan OUTloud episode on June 14th, host Nathan Treanor interviews TYFA co-founder Kim Pearson regarding TYFA and the events from the "Rob, Arnie & Dawn Show" on KRXQ in Sacramento, California that started with the May 28th show.

Nathan OUTloud is a bi-weekly podcast dedicated to sharing stories from the LGBT community.

Go to the Nathan OUTloud site to listen to: Episode 5 - Kim Pearson from TransYouth Family Allies 36:40 minutes

Find out more about: TransYouth Family Allies (TFYA)

Thank you Rob, Arnie, and Dawn for an excellent show this morning

2009-06-11T11:43:00.000-07:00

I listened to the "Rob, Arnie & Dawn in the Morning" show this morning and I have to say I was very impressed. It was clear that they really got it that they had crossed the line on the show and then made it worse a week later by telling people that it was just a joke.

What seems to have impacted them the most in getting there is that their regular listener audience told them that what they had done and said was not okay.

I could tell that they took time to really connect with people -- to open their minds and hearts to the responses they got -- and it changed them. And they have the guts to go on the air and admit how they screwed up and do a show that really deal with it.

Today they spent from 7:30 AM to 10 AM on the show talking about this. The guests they brought in were Kim Pearson and Autumn Sandeen who were excellent, and they had callers to the show also and handled that very well.

This is what they posted on their homepage http://www.robarnieanddawn.com/ after the show:

UPDATED JUNE 11TH, 2009, 10:45AM

We would like to thank our two very special guests for stopping by and sharing their stories with us. If you would like to learn more about them, please visit the following links.

To learn more about Kim Perason and the TransYouth Family Allies organization visit www.imatyfa.org.

And to read Autumn Sandeen's online contributions visit www.pamshouseblend.com.

If you miss today's show, you can download the full two and a half hours directly from this web site by clicking on the links to the left.

Thank you,

The Rob, Arnie & Dawn Show

Because the show's homepage may change in time I am linking directly to the show that happened today here:

- Hour 1 Of Transgender Response
- Hour 2 Of Transgender Response
- Last Part Of Transgender Response

Doing the show they did today takes guts, and I applaud Rob and Arnie for that - for being willing to publicly not only say that their behavior was wrong, and not just to apologize on the air, but to spend the whole show today talking about it so that other people can learn and understand with them.

Again thank you Dawn for being such a good ally. Your voice in all this was very much appreciated.

And thank you Kim and Autumn for your parts in this whole experience.

It's very good to be able to see something like this turn out for the good. It is an example of what we can hold up to show people that there is reason to hope and to do this work we do.

Updates on "the transgender controversy" and the "Rob, Arnie & Dawn in the Morning" show

2009-06-07T13:32:00.000-07:00

Note: this is an update on my June 3rd post below, Rob, Arnie & Dawn in the Morning - "the transgender controversy".

I checked and you can now listen to the entire segment of this show on the player on the GLAAD site here:
http://www.glaad.org/Page.aspx?pid=730

-----------------

On June 5th GLAAD posted updated information on their website about ten companies that have pulled their advertising from KRXQ, the Sacramento California radio station that hosts the Rob, Arnie & Dawn in the Morning show:

The entire listing of companies include:
Chipotle
Snapple
Sonic
Bank of America
Verizon
Carl’s Jr (CKE Restaurants)
Wells Fargo
Nissan North America
AT&T
McDonald’s

For more information, read UPDATE: McDonald’s Is 10th Company to Pull KRXQ Advertising on the GLAAD website.

-----------------

This was posted today, Sunday June 7, 2009 on >The Rob, Arnie & Dawn Show website: http://robarnieanddawn.com/newsite/ - and because it is posted on their homepage which I expect will change, I am posting the message here rather than linking to it:

UPDATED JUNE 7TH, 2009, 11:50AM

TO OUR LOYAL ROB, ARNIE AND DAWN FOLLOWERS,

WE HAVE FAILED YOU. AS A SHOW, AS PEOPLE, AS BROADCASTERS, WE HAVE SIMPLY FAILED ON ALMOST EVERY LEVEL.

WE PRESENTED OUR OPINIONS ON A VERY SENSITIVE SUBJECT IN A HATEFUL, CHILDISH AND CRUDE FASHION; AND THEN, GIVEN THE OPPORTUNITY TO RETRACT THOSE REMARKS, WE DEFENDED THEM.

SINCE THEN, YOU, OUR LOYAL LISTENERS, HAVE MADE IT CLEAR TO US THAT WE WENT TOO FAR. THE RESPONSE HAS BEEN OVERWHELMING. NONE OF YOU SAID THAT WE COULDN’T HAVE OPINIONS, YET SO MANY OF YOU SAID THAT THE WAY WE GAVE THEM CROSSED THE LINE. FURTHER, YOU SAID THAT OUR ATTEMPT TO MASK OUR COMMENTS AS “JOKES THAT WOULD BE UNDERSTOOD BY OUR AUDIENCE,” WAS UNACCEPTABLE. I WOULD SAY NOW THAT IT WAS WORSE THAN THAT, IT WAS COWARDLY. YOU HAVE MADE THAT CLEAR.

WE HAVE REACHED OUT TO VARIOUS GROUPS AND ASKED FOR A CHANCE TO MAKE THIS RIGHT; TO RESPOND, WITH THEIR PARTICIPATION, TO THE EDUCATION THAT OUR AUDIENCE HAS PROVIDED US. THAT OPPORTUNITY HAS BEEN GRACIOUSLY GRANTED THIS THURSDAY MORNING, JUNE 11TH. AT 7:30 A.M.

THE WORD APOLOGY APPEARS NO WHERE IN THIS LETTER FOR A REASON. WE ALREADY HID FROM DOING THE RIGHT THING ONCE AND WE’RE NOT GOING TO MAKE THAT MISTAKE AGAIN. APOLOGIZING IN A WRITTEN, POSTED STATEMENT IS A FORM OF COWARDICE. WE WILL SAY WHAT NEEDS TO BE SAID THIS THURSDAY.

ON A FINAL, PERSONAL NOTE, AS THE LEADER AND OWNER OF THE SHOW, I HAVE MADE THE DECISION THAT WE NEED TO REFRAIN FROM BROADCASTING NEW EPISODES UNTIL WE CAN ADDRESS THIS ON THURSDAY . WE WILL RETURN TO THE AIR AT 7:30 A.M. JUNE 11TH.

ROB WILLIAMS
ROB, ARNIE AND DAWN

So since thier show is broadcast out of Sacramento California, that will be 7:30 AM Pacific time this Thursday.

Rob, Arnie & Dawn in the Morning - "the transgender controversy"

2009-06-03T21:21:00.000-07:00

I've been following a story I first heard about on a PFLAG listserv and Facebook about the Rob, Arnie & Dawn in the Morning show that airs on KRXQ - 98.5 FM Sacramento, CA..

The hosts are dealing with what they refer to as "the transgender controversy" after a recent show.

I found some information on the GLAAD website:

June 2, 2009— In a lengthy May 28 tirade on the Rob, Arnie & Dawn in the Morning radio show heard in Sacramento, California on KRXQ 98.5 FM and Reno, Nevada on KDOT 104.5 FM, hosts Rob Williams and Arnie States verbally attacked transgender children. While discussing a recent story about a transgender child in Omaha, Nebraska and her parents’ decision to support her transition, the two hosts spent more than 30 minutes explicitly promoting child abuse of and making cruel, dehumanizing and defamatory comments toward transgender children.

Read the whole action alert here on the GLAAD site:
TAKE ACTION: Demand that KRXQ Radio Hosts Rob Williams and Arnie States Apologize for Encouraging Violence Against Transgender Children

The link to the audio file was only a 17 second clip, and I was unable to find the whole show.

But I did find this June 2nd article by Michael Rowe on Huffington Post:
KRXQ Sacramento Radio Hosts Encourage Violence Against Transgender Children.

Then I went to the homepage for the Rob, Arnie & Dawn in the Morning show:

http://robarnieanddawn.com/newsite/

The show is described there as:

A five hour, listener interactive radio program that many people describe as just three regular people sitting around the breakfast table trying to make sense of the world. We prefer to think of it as three really abnormal miscreants of society who have stumbled upon this line of work and are making everybody else pay for it.

I scrolled down to this:

Listen to Rob, Arnie & Dawn's response to the transgender controversy by clicking on the audio file links below...

and I did that.

I had to download the audio files to my computer (an option with RealPlayer) in order to listen to them because when I tried listening to them online the audio was skipping and I was missing hearing parts. But that may have been when there was a lot of traffic on the site.

Here are the audio files:

06.03.09 - The Rob & Arnie Transgender Controversy 49.09 minutes

06.03.09 - Transgender Controversy Continued 22.46 minutes

06.03.09 - The Evolution of Tolerance 6.42 minutes

06.03.09 - Haters & Supporters of Rob & Arnie 5.58 minutes

06.03.09 - Seperating Transgenders & Mental Patients 7.50 minutes

06.03.09 - More Listeners React To Transgender Controversy 9.04 minutes

06.03.09 - Listeners Still Love RAD 6.01 minutes

Wow. It's a twisted time talking about gender identity, about bullying, hate speech, hate crimes, freedom of speech and much more - from more than one side. I found it a disturbing and in an almost clinical way an interesting look at how these three particular people hashed the subject among each other, with callers to the show, and sharing emails they have received.

I was SO glad that Dawn Rossi was part of the show because she is an outspoken ally. Thank you Dawn.

Anyone else have something to say on this? Please comment here.

And if you want to respond to the folks at the show, this is from the GLAAD Alert:

TAKE ACTION NOW!
Please contact KRXQ management in Sacramento, California, where the show is produced and demand that radio show hosts Rob Williams and Arnie States publicly apologize. Call on KRXQ to hold Williams and States accountable for their remarks and establish clear standards to ensure their media platform will not be used to condone or promote violence against any parts of the communities they serve.

John Geary
Vice President & General Manager
KRXQ-FM
(916) 339-4209
jgeary@entercom.com

Arnie States
On Air Personality
KRXQ-FM
(916) 334-7777
rad@robarnieanddawn.com

Rob Williams
On Air Personality
KRXQ-FM
(916) 334-7777
rwilliams@entercom.com

Please use the share page functionality at the top of this page to alert any of your friends and others who may also wish to take action. When contacting KRXQ, please ensure that your emails and phone calls are civil and respectful and do not engage in the kind of name-calling or abusive behavior.

HIV/AIDS and Sixth Graders.

2009-05-29T16:24:00.000-07:00

During our school-wide Projects Week last week, a coworker and I collaborated on a week-long examination of HIV/AIDS in the United States with a group of 32 sixth grade students who were assigned to us. About half of the students in the group were students whom I teach reading and writing on a daily basis – but the other half are students that I only recognize from brief interactions in the hallways.

The political insight and openness of the students in our group impressed and inspired me. By the second day, students were raising their hands and asking questions like “Wait, why aren’t people in U.S. prisons allowed to use condoms?” and “Why don’t we have needle exchanges in the U.S.?” My colleague and I gave them structured time to discuss these observations and questions as a class, and to think about what they, as youth and as students, could do to combat the rapid spread of HIV/AIDS in communities of color in the United States.

Throughout the week, we discussed stigma and stereotypes, health care, access to testing and medication, and the astronomical rates of incarceration of young black and Latino men for drug-related charges. We also incorporated personal aspects of the issue – and my coworker and I even opened up with our students about our own personal connections to HIV/AIDS. A few students shared their experiences and how HIV/AIDS had affected their lives or families.

The project also - inevitably - sparked many conversations about sex and sexuality that don't tend to crop up in students’ everyday academic lives. Our focus during the week wasn't primarily sex education, but we attempted to address the sexual transmission of HIV/AIDS without perpetuating a sex-negative, “this is what happens if you have sex!” fear. We wanted to avoid the too-common, morbid, depressing “AIDS = DEATH” message that students often get from the popular media and educators. Our goals included creating a space that was sex-positive and that emphasized the fact that contracting HIV/AIDS, while a very serious threat that should be actively avoided and prevented, does not necessarily end a person's social or sexual life (especially if they have access to medications and resources). That was a challenging line to walk with sixth graders, but once again our students proved themselves capable of grappling with the complexity of the issue.

We were also able to engage in class discussions about why so many celebrities and organizations are giving money to fight AIDS in foreign nations while ignoring the fact that the virus is rampant in particular communities right here in the United States. One student raised his hand during this conversation and made the point “If the people who were getting AIDS here were white, the government would care more.” (I almost wanted to ask him to teach a seminar on the issue, after he made that point.)

During the week, sex and same-sexuality came up very often. Every time the topics of sex in prisons, or the Down-Low, or men who have sex with men arose, I caught myself tensing up as though bracing for a difficult conversation. But our students proved me wrong and proved themselves more than able to listen, talk, and engage with these issues in an intellectual, nuanced and sophisticated way. The entire week, we encouraged them to take a critical lens to the materials we were examining – which included an ABC News documentary on “AIDS in Black America” from 2007 – to see if students trusted the sources or not. Then, at the end of the week, our group shared our findings and thoughts with other groups of students from around the school who visited our classroom. Overall, it was a great success and made me feel hopeful.

Since Projects Week ended, I have overheard homophobic slurs and negative uses of the word “gay” more frequently. Perhaps it is the time of year, as students get more restless and my sixth graders prepare to become seventh graders. I'm not sure. But any time I have heard a misuse or abuse of "gay" or "homo," I have addressed it with the student in question and asked him or her to find a word that more accurately describes his or her feelings. In light of this increasingly visible homophobia, I have also made a concerted effort to incorporate queer authors into my curriculum, as I believe that can give students different perpsectives on LGBTQ matters.

As part of our current poetry unit, I devoted a week to the poems of Langston Hughes and to learning about Hughes body of work, his life, and the Harlem Renaissance. Many students quickly became very attached to Hughes’ poems, finding them inspiring and moving. At the very end of the week, I told my students that one fact about Hughes that didn’t come out in the biographical text we had read about him was his romantic involvement with men. My classes were shocked, but then able to reflect on how – if at all – that new piece of information changed their interpretation and understanding of his poems, and why it had been left out of biographies about Hughes. It was another great conversation.

In hindsight, I realize I (kind of) lured them into a sort of pro-gay trap. Just don’t tell any right-wingers I said that.

Open Letter to Oprah

2009-05-11T10:05:00.000-07:00

Dear Oprah,

First, thank you so much for your recent show that featured the mothers of 11-year old suicide victims Carl Hoover-Walker and Jaheem Herrera . You are wonderful for launching this conversation about the devastating consequences of bullying and what we can do about it.

That said, I was really disappointed that, despite both boys having found anti-gay bullying so gut-wrenching, your professional guests addressed bullying without ever talking about the URGENT importance of addressing homophobia and prejudice through EDUCATION. The best bullying programs and the best psychologists working one-on-one with bullied kids won’t put an end to anti-gay bullying. Until we’re willing to have teachers talk about gay people respectfully, kids will use homophobia as the weapon that our silence puts in their hands.

What else do I wish you would do?
1. Check out www.safeschoolscoalition.org.
2. Have someone on the show to talk about the work of the Safe Schools Coalition.
3. Invite Kim Westheimer to talk about the Human Rights Campaign's wonderful Welcoming Schools project.
4. Have Debra Chasnoff of Groundspark talk about their amazing film-based curricula.
5. Invite Stephanie Brill of Gender Spectrum to talk about her unbelievable work with schools.
6. Invite the folks from the Committee for Children, Southern Poverty Law Center and the Anti-Defamation League to talk specifically about how their bullying programs address bias-based bullying, and anti-LGBT bullying in particular.
7. Ask principals and curriculum directors to put aside preparing children for high stakes testing just one week every year and focus for that week on prejudice reduction
~ a day about religious diversity and, at older grades, prejudice against the religious (of various faiths) and prejudice against the unchurched;
~ a day about immigration, refugees and, at older grades, about xenophobia and its costs all over the world;
~ a day about race and the history of racism and about white privilege and what it means to be an ally (actually that would be part of each of the 5 days);
~ a day about sexual diversity -- about families with lesbian, gay, bi and trans parents/guardians, about the contributions of LGBT people and, at older grades about homophobia and transphobia and the history of anti-LGBT brutality; and
~ a day about women who've changed the world and, in later grades about misogyny and violence against women and what some men and women are doing to change that.

If schools devoted just one week early in the year, every single year starting in elementary school, it could change climates dramatically. In combination with good anti-bullying programs, it could save the lives of the Carls and Jaheems, and the Gwen Araujos and Matthew Shepards too.

It is time schools worked to reduce the PREJUDICES that underly the most horrific bullying and not just the bullying (the symptom). Please take the lead on this, Oprah. Nobody has a voice like you do.

Beth Reis
Public Health Educator and Co-Chair of the Safe Schools Coalition
10501 Meridian Avenue N
Seattle, WA 98133
206-296-4970

P.S. I hope your staffers watch the blogosphere, Oprah, because I couldn't find a place on your web site to say more than 180 characters and I couldn't figure out how to do this in that much space.

Question about terminology/labels

2009-04-28T10:23:00.000-07:00

Becky Groves of PFLAG Central Oregon posted a question on a PFLAG listserv, and I think it is interesting - and that Safe Schools Coalition folks could offer some good insight to her and each other.

Becky wrote:

I have a question from a Human Sexuality instructor in my chapter. I thought I would put it out there for some input. Here it is:
"I have become increasingly aware of an awkward feeling whenever I use the term homosexual, heterosexual, gay, Lesbian, transgender, straight, etc.
It is unavoidable in my class because these are the terms that we have to use and it seems that they have been so institutionalized as to have become acceptable by all who use them.

Are you aware, or can you ask someone who would be aware if there is some movement afoot to change our vocabulary to excise these sexually based terms?
It seems to describe someone's personhood by what is done in private is so crazy and is frankly repugnant to me. I hate labels but it seems we are stuck with them unless or until we demand change. We don't call women who have had abortions, "aborters", or people who eat meat, carnivores (except in a nutritional definition perhaps) as their primary description, then why should we define individuals by what they do sexually?"
I know a lot of young people are refusing to label themselves. What do you think about this? What kind of terminology is being used by those that don't want "labels"? Are there any thoughts from National about a change in these labels that we all use?

Thank you in advance for your thoughts on this.

-----------------
Please post your replies here on the Safe Schools Coalition blog.

If you are unable to post responses here for some reason, please send them to me by using this contact form and let me know what is okay to post (i.e. your message? name? contact information?).

Thank you,
Gabi

A short silent video about Day Of Silence

2009-04-16T11:42:00.000-07:00

NotThatPrince posted this video on YouTube on April 15, 2009 and wrote:

This video is to raise awareness of the Anti-LGBT bullying that afflicts our schools. So GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian, and Straight Education Network) developed the Day of Silence, during which participants remain silent all day to echo the silence of those who are bullied for being (or appearing to be) an LGBT student.

The National Day of Silence brings attention
to anti-LGBT name-calling, bullying and harassment in schools.

The 13th Annual National Day of Silence is Friday, April 17, 2009.
To learn more please visit: www.dayofsilence.org

The Trouble with "Liberal" Teachers...

2009-04-14T16:20:00.001-07:00

When reflecting on how this year has gone for me at work with regard to my transition, it’s been easy for me to brush it off with an “Oh, there have been no problems at all! My school’s great!” And indeed, my school is a relatively ideal place for me to be going through this. But even in the most ideal of locations, quotidian challenges arise that keep me on my toes and in a state of perpetual emotional exhaustion. The problem at a school like mine - which is filled with young, mostly white Teach for America corps members and New York Teaching Fellows and fancies itself uber Liberal - is that coworkers are quick to rationalize hurtful ignorances with the excuse of "But I had good intentions! I'm very Liberal and open-minded!"

Two weeks ago a colleague at school brought some students from a seventh grade class to see me. These four students had encountered me in the hallways last year as Ms. K and, even though I’ve never taught them, they have been confused and curious about my transition. My coworker did not discuss this in detail with me beforehand, nor did he ask me if the timing was convenient or appropriate for me.

The four students were very shy and nervous, and this coworker drew some extremely problematic race analogies - which I didn’t even entirely understand - to explain to the students why they should “feel comfortable asking Mr. K anything they want to know!” The students were clearly very uncomfortable with this, so to relieve them of the pressure their teacher was putting on them, I suggested they write down their questions on post-its. They gladly did so, and the first questions they offered I was happy to answer and discuss: “How has your family reacted to you being transgender?” and “Why do you think you are transgender?” These questions pop up frequently, and I’m usually pretty happy to answer them.

However, my coworker then started encouraging them to ask questions that I would never discuss with students, questions like: “Do you still menstruate?” It bewildered and angered me that he would self-authorize – let alone authorize students! – to talk about my body in that way. He was paying no attention to my level of discomfort, and to make matters worse, he made several offensive offhand comments while the students were writing down questions, such as: “So, who are you interested in these days, men or women?”, and “Do gay men hit on you a lot?” When I responded “Sometimes” to the latter question, he laughed and said “Haha, do you just tell them that you don’t have what they’re looking for?” At that point, I was ready to either a) sock him or b) tell him off for his arrogance in presuming to know anything about my body or "what I have." But the students approached me again with more questions, and I had to return to Teacher Mode.

The most infuriating part of the entire interaction was that while he was undermining my identity and treating me like an object for analysis this coworker clearly felt he was being open, affirming, and supportive. He assumed that as someone with “lots of gay friends!,” he was necessarily authorized to ask me probing personal questions and make judgments and share opinions about my body.

I understand that “teachable moments” are unavoidable, and that difficult moments pop up every single day. As a professional, it is inherent to my job to be constantly put on the spot by my students, and I try to rise to the occasion to deal with that. When a student of mine used the phrase “no homo” two weeks ago, I talked to him individually to ask him what he meant by it and why he was using it. When another student asked me the question “Mr. K, who would you rather have as your girlfriend, Alicia Keys or Alissa Milano,” I responded by simply stating “Think about all of the assumptions you’re making about me when you say that.” The student was puzzled, but got quiet and pensive for a few moments.

These situations are regular, and constant, and part of my job to tackle. I have occasionally chosen to come out as queer or trans in moments like that, but ultimately my decisions about what information I share about my body and my personal experience is completely up to me – and I’ve found that in many situations sharing my experience does not necessarily assist me in provoking thoughtfulness and getting my main points across to students. Even just in developmental terms, eleven- and twelve-year-olds process everything through the lens of themselves. Coming out has an important and crucial place in teaching, in my opinion, but it is not inherently necessary to prompt students to think critically about sexuality and gender identity.

So, then, how do I react in a situation in which my body is being put on display as a specimen to be examined and probed, by a well-intentioned colleague who thinks he is affirming my identity? It is very challenging to be in that place, because it was not simply an interaction between myself and a coworker – there were students present, as well. I should probably speak with that coworker individually to explain to him why I felt like he disrespected my boundaries and identity. But I can’t find the energy in me, for some reason. I guess there are limitations to my willingness and ability to educate people about trans-ness, but maybe after spring break is over I’ll muster up whatever willpower I need to discuss it with him face-to-face.

Article: Homophobia damaging lives across Europe-EU study

2009-04-06T20:21:00.000-07:00

"From their early years, the derogative words used for gays and lesbians at schools teach them to remain invisible," said the study, published on Tuesday.

Read Homophobia damaging lives across Europe-EU study
31 Mar 2009 - Source: Reuters

Curious Students.

2009-02-10T13:30:00.000-08:00

After the ELA exam my classes have dived into our Book Partnership unit, during which students are paired up homogeneously based on reading level. Each student partnership reads an appropriately-leveled novel, and at the end of each class period I provide what I call "Book Talk" time for partners to discuss their book and any responses, questions, or opinions they may have. One of the primary goals of the unit is to develop students' skills in verbal engagement with texts they are reading.

My encouragement of students' critical engagement with literature appears to be effective, judging from some of the questions I fielded today. One student who is reading a YA novel called "Gender Blender" - the story of a high school boy and girl who end up exchanging bodies for a day - approached my desk to ask "Mr. K, what is gender, again? I thought I knew, but in this book they said it was the same as sex."

I told the student that some people think of gender and sex as interchangeable, which probably explains the book's use of "sex" and "gender." He looked at me, confused, and said "But Mr. K, that's not true for everyone, right? I mean, there are some people who are born boys and become girls, right? I was watching this show called 'Real World: Brooklyn,' and there's a girl on it who used to be a boy... Is that true?" Before I could say anything, two other students who were hovering around my desk to ask me questions chimed in and said "Yeah, it's true! She used to be a boy! I watch that show, too."

(Sidenote: It never ceases to amaze me how my - and my peers' - interpretations of mainstream media representations of LGBTQ people can differ so drastically from my students' impressions. Apparently, what I have found a gimmicky and cheesy move on the part of the Real World to include a "token trans person" has resulted in some important educational moments for some of my students.)

Trying to avoid self-authorizing as a "gender expert," I kept my comments to a minimum in the conversation with this particular student. I just provided affirmation that his confusion was warranted, citing what I called a "wide spectrum" of gender identities that people could have.

This particular student has demonstrated a consistent, pointed interest in trans issues and has raised unprovoked questions about transsexuals on at least three occasions. He is (I think) sometimes teased for "acting gay," wearing sweatervests and borrowing pink highlighters from the girls in his class to decorate his notebook. Without assuming anything about his identity, it is clear that gender and sexual identity are important for him to think about and work through. So, after a few minutes of thought, I decided to come out to him, individually, about my trans identity. As his class was getting ready to leave my room, I pulled him aside and said "You seem interested in this topic, which is great" - to which he smiled and said "Yeah, this stuff is really interesting to me" - and I continued "I want to let you know that I identify as transgender myself. I was born a girl and am now a man. So these issues are very real to me, and to many people I know."

The student looked at me and said "So, that story you told us about when you were in middle school... you were a girl then?" I explained that I don't talk too much about my history with my students because it can become a distraction - not because I am ashamed or worried about teasing. "My students respect me, I think," I said, "so I think that they respect me most if I am myself." The student nodded. He was clearly surprised to hear that I'm trans, but then he smiled shyly and said "Well, there have been rumors that you're, you know, GAY or whatever, but not..." In response to that, I came out as queer to him as well, emphasizing that it is important to me that people, including students, understand that it's nothing to be ashamed of. By that point, the student was clearly saturated with "new information about Mr. K," and he turned to go with a smile, saying "Um, I might write about this, and maybe I will have some questions. Bye, Mr. K!" He seemed to appreciate my straightforwardness, and he certainly took it in stride. If, as I have moments of suspecting, he is beginning to identify himself as LGBTQ in some way, the conversation could have been meaningful to him.

Today was only my second experience coming out as trans to one of my sixth grade students, and the last time the student had directly asked me if I'd had "plastic surgery" and if I "used to be a girl" as he'd heard around the school. It was my first time coming out as queer to any of my current students. Though the conversation was a little nerve-wracking (as I suspect it will be each time I come out as trans to a student), it felt really good to tell a curious student that I identify as queer and trans, and that I am proud of who I am.

Test Prep Time.

2009-01-15T17:37:00.000-08:00

During the weeks after winter vacation and leading up to the January 21st statewide English Language Arts exam, a Title I public school – like mine – can feel like a pressure cooker. No Child Left Behind and administrators (more directly) begin to put a tremendous amount of pressure on teachers and students. Administrators who have never before stepped foot in my classroom suddenly storm in demanding to see my data binders (which I happily show them) and rattle off admonishments – “we need these kids to get 3’s and 4’s!” - without asking about anything about that is actually going on in my classroom. It is frustrating and stressful, to say the least. I sympathize with my students, eleven-year-olds who have already learned to get so nervous before The Test that some get nauseous just thinking about it.

To add to these anxieties, three weeks ago I thought my “transgender cover” with my students had been blown. One of my sixth graders came up to my desk at the end of the school day to pose a question that caught me completely off-guard. His demeanor was not awkward; in fact, he appeared ready to inform me of some random fact he’d learned in science class. (That would have been in line with this particular student’s typical personality.) But then what came out of his mouth made me do a double-take: “Mr. K, there’s a rumor going around the school – I swear I didn’t say it - that you used to be a girl and had plastic surgery.”

It took me a minute, certainly, to figure out how to respond. I decided to acknowledge the legitimacy of the "rumor" he'd heard without touching on the “plastic surgery” part, since specific characteristics of my body are irrelevant to the conversation and inappropriate to discuss in school. (Also, how would I possibly explain that SRS is not exactly “plastic surgery,” or the fact that I haven't technically undergone SRS, without venturing into deeply controversial territory?) I responded by saying: “Well, it is true that I used to be ‘Ms. Krywanczyk’ and that I used to identify as a woman. I am transgender. I don’t really talk about it very much. I think I just hope that students can be…” I trailed off, searching for the proper word to conclude my thought. The student actually spoke up and finished my sentence for me, nodding “mature! We can be mature,” and then shouting “bye, Mr. K!” as he vanished out the door to chase after friends who had passed by in the hall. As though nothing had happened. Just found out your teacher is a transsexual? No biggie.

Overall, it was far less painful than I had imagined. The student has not brought it up since, and there has been no apparent “pronoun crisis” in the wake of it like I'd' feared. The ripple effect I anticipated after that conversation has not really happened – at least not to my knowledge. I continue to be slightly on edge, waiting for the day when it comes out in the middle of a lesson or in front of an entire class. But I realize it's possible that more of my students know, and that they are simply more composed and relaxed about bodies, gender, and sexuality than the adults in the building. Actually, the latter possibility seems highly likely.

As I have witnessed over the past month, my students generally think about bodies, sex, sexuality, and gender all the time. The moment the door is opened for them to engage with these realities, incredible - and overwhelming - amounts of curiosity and fascination and angst bubble to the surface. I recently acquired an entire section of “Body Books” to augment the depleted non-fiction section of my classroom library, and the texts themselves have prompted a steady flow of interesting conversations. Last week, one student walked up to my desk wielding “Our Bodies, Our Selves: For Boys” and stated “Mr. K, this book tells me to ask someone about when he went through puberty. So… when did you?” My thoughts in response, in the order that they occurred to me after suddenly having my body put on the spot by a student , were:

1. "Which puberty?"
2. "About five and a half months ago." (When I started physically transitioning to be male.)
3. "Oh, damn! I’m the teacher!"
4. "Maybe you should ask someone else, one of your peers, that question."

The last thought was what actually came out of my mouth, accompanied by a “teacher smile” that I intended to indicate “this is not something you should ever ask a teacher, because we will not indulge you.” The student looked down at his shoelaces and shuffled back to his desk to ask his tablemate.

A few days ago, a different student approached my desk carrying a copy of “The Boys’ Guide To Becoming a Teen.” He held the book out, pointed his finger at a page, and genuinely asked “Mr. K, what does this word mean?” I followed his finger and read: “Masturbation.” After an initial moment of panic, I opted for the route that would encourage the student’s pursuit of knowledge on his own. “Why don’t you look it up in the dictionary,” I responded, “and then decide if you want or need to ask me that question afterwards.” The student nodded, fetched a dictionary, and proceeded to avoid me for the rest of the class.

The “masturbation” scenario was, in many ways, more difficult to handle as a teacher than any inquiries about my personal identity. After all, “what happened to your breasts?” can be easily and quickly deemed inappropriate. It is not so simple when a student has a question about a vocabulary word that is loaded with social significance (and stigma). It is challenging to respond encouragingly in such moments without worrying someone will accuse me of pushing an agenda. Regardless, though, I am glad these texts are in my room and have sparked such thought and interest among my students. It would be infinitely easier when students are left in the dark about “controversial” issues like their own bodies – aren't people who are ignorant always easier to control? - but, clearly, I do not consider that an option.

Exodus Mandate calling to pull Christian kids out of secular schools

2009-01-03T14:32:00.000-08:00

Thanks to Pam Spaulding's Pam's House Blend for this one
Fundies call for exodus from the public schools -- again
where she wrote:

An outfit called Exodus Mandate has released an unhinged video, "Call to Dunkirk," that stresses the urgent need to pull "Christian" kids out of the secular schools.

Watch the twisted propaganda video from the religious right, and be prepared to be offended:

The Call to Dunkirk

The video doesn't specifically mention LGBTQ persons and issues in schools, but I had a feeling they did have things to say connected to that so I did a search on Google for the words "homosexual" and "gay" on the website exodusmandate.org and came up with these:

RESOLUTION ON HOMOSEXUALITY - File Format: Microsoft Word

Whereas, the promotion of homosexuality as a legitimate lifestyle in the public schools constitutes a far greater risk to far more children than the “Gay ...

Why Homosexual Activism in Schools Endangers Students - File Format: Microsoft Word

These are frequently initiated through school alliances with influential homosexual pressure groups such as GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education ...

20050509 - SBC Resolution Asks for Investigation of Homosexual ... - File Format: HTML

May 9, 2005 ... Groups like GLSEN (Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network and PFLAG ... Radical gender and homosexual advocacy groups influence ...

Front Jan08 (Letter).indd - File Format: PDF/Adobe Acrobat

children from homosexual indoctrination in our government schools. ... GAY “ MARRIAGE” PROMOTION – positive portrayal of “marriage” other than God-ordained, ...

Articles Index - File Format: HTML

2005-May 09 : SBC Resolution Asks for Investigation of Homosexual Influence ... 2002 - Aug 05 : Get Our Kids Out - Dobson says pro-gay school curriculum has ...

The LGBT Leaders Meeting with Obama/Biden Transition Team

2008-12-22T21:24:00.000-08:00

On Monday, December 15, 2008 this was posted on the National Youth Advocacy Coalition blog by Greg Varnum:

Last Wednesday national leaders from the LGBTQ community were invited to a group meeting with representatives from the Obama/Biden Transition Team. The historic meeting was an opportunity for LGBTQ leaders to share our thoughts and to continue a dialogue which began during the campaign and I hope continues throughout the Obama/Biden Administration.

and

For those of you that are interested, here is the participant list for this meeting, as kindly provided by Parag Mehta, Obama/Biden Transition Team LGBT Liaison.

It's an interesting list of people.

Read The LGBT Leaders Meeting with Obama/Biden Transition Team

Transitioning on the Job: Part Four

2008-12-01T11:49:00.000-08:00

As far as I can tell, none of my sixth grade students know that I’m trans. This astonishes me. Has not one seventh or eighth grader mentioned anything to one of my students? Has not one of them Googled my name? Seriously?

Clearly, I can never know exactly what someone else is thinking – but I can make inferences based on students’ comments and actions. Students have continued to ask me “are you married?” when they point out the “Ms. Krywanczyk” written in most of the books in my classroom library. I met many students’ parents at Parent Teacher Conferences last week, and the fact that several parents commented “you look so young!,” implied (based on my past experience) that they perceived me to be a teenaged boy.

Two weeks ago the concept of homophobia arose in my class because of a novel we are reading that has a prominent gay character (After Tupac and D Foster by Jacqueline Woodson, which is fantastic). When I explained that homophobia is “hatred or intolerance of gay and lesbian people,” one of my students raised his hand to say “But Mr. Krywanczyk, what about transsexuals? Aren’t there transsexuals, too? My mom said she saw one once.” Most other students in the class proceeded to look at each other with confused looks on their faces, and a few of them asked “Mr. K, what’s a transsexual?” I explained the term briefly and we moved on with the lesson – but the moment confirmed my suspicions that my sixth graders do not yet know about my past as “Ms. K.”

I continue to dread the day when one of my students asks me point-blank “did you used to be Ms. K?” or calls me “she.” One of the most frustrating aspects of being trans is learning firsthand that many people, once they are aware of your history, feel that they suddenly “know” something significant that changes the way they interact with you. I’m nervous that when my students learn that I’m trans, it will cause them to treat me differently - and it’s been feeling really good for my identity to be respected in my classroom, in part because it has been my only experience of that, to date. It is possible that my students are aware of my history, but they just “get it.” That would be amazing. After all, most of the seventh and eighth graders in our school have quickly caught on and started calling me “Mr,” or correcting themselves when they call me “Ms.”

Though many of my colleagues and administrators have been supportive and well-intentioned, this year has reminded me that students are often more open and thoughtful than adults. When one administrator heard that the word “transsexual” came up in my classroom, he immediately assumed that I was “teaching transexuality” to my students. Though the matter was cleared up by other staff and faculty who were present at the time, hearing about his assumptions alerted me to the fact that I will probably not be given the benefit of the doubt very often this year: Even when students bring up their own legitimate questions, thoughts, or ideas about sexuality and gender identity, it very well may be assumed to be my doing. This incident put me on edge and reminded me to always watch my step and cover myself.

Fighting the assumption that LGBTQ and sexuality-related conversations only arise in classrooms when queer or trans teachers bring them up is one of the biggest challenges LGBTQ-friendly teachers will face at my school this year. Three weeks ago, an eighth grade student in a coworker’s class asked about me: “If he’s a dude, why was he Ms. K last year?” The teacher responded exactly how a professional educator is supposed to respond – by explaining terms and abstracting the conversation to avoid talking about individuals' personal identities. She explained what “transgender” means and that gender and sexuality are not necessarily the same thing, while refusing to speak for me or about my transition in any detail. During this brief discussion in her classroom, another eighth grade student spoke up and began explaining transsexuality to the rest of his classmates. How did he know so much about the topic? His mother’s best friend, he informed everyone, is a trans woman.

An administrator reprimanded my coworker for “discussing sexual preference” in her classroom – and stated that “if students have questions about Mr. Krywanczyk, they should go to Mr. K.” Basically, this administrator was saying that any and all instances of the word “transgender” coming up in class must necessarily have something to do with ME, and that I should be the only person in our school able to speak about trans issues. This is ludicrous, and completely invalidates students curiosity and the presence of LGBTQ issues and identities in students’ everyday experiences. Even after that situation settled down and the principal (thankfully) intervened to establish that the teacher had not done anything wrong, the implication remained that it is only acceptable for LGBTQ issues to arise in our classrooms when they are related to some kind of text that we are reading – not when students are “just” asking questions.

In addition to invisibilizing the realities of students’ lives, attempts to shut down discourse and conversation often have strong racist implications in my school. Most teachers and administrators are white and very few of our students are white, and so the admonishment “Don’t talk about sexual preference!” all too quickly turns into“You know how racial minorities are, they’re so homophobic!” This is an offensive excuse made by adults in our school who simply don’t want to have to put forth energy to support queer and trans youth. LGBTQ-friendly teachers in the school will need to work hard to make room for LGBTQ-related dialogue that does not always become exclusively about queer or trans teachers and our identities. It should be about students having access to information and dialogue they need and deserve because these are issues that affect their lives.

Transgender Day of Remembrance-Vigil Speech

2008-11-28T09:05:00.000-08:00

November 20, 2008
Portland State University
Portland, Oregon

My name is Jenn Burleton and I am the Founder and Executive Director of TransActive. I am the wife, spouse, partner and significant other of the woman with whom I’ve shared my life for the past 26 years. We have been the foster parents of two transgender youth.

In the aftermath of the 2004 Indonesian tsunami, I traveled to Phuket, Thailand and volunteered whatever talents, skills and abilities I could to the recovery effort. I am old enough to have marched with Jesse Jackson, Ralph Abernathy and James Groppi in the fight for civil rights and fair housing in the late 60’s and I am young enough to have voted enthusiastically, idealistically and teary-eyed for President Elect Barack Hussein Obama. I am a middle aged, middle class social liberal.

My name is Jenn Burleton; I am a woman who happens to be transgender and today just happens to be my birthday. It has always been a special time of reflection for me.

Early on, it was the yardstick against which I measured the time it was taking my mother to accept and support the little girl that lived within me. During my teen years, it became the hourglass through which the sand that was my changing body flowed. And in adulthood, it is the day on which I take stock of how far we’ve come as a culture and how far we still have to go with regards to gender identity and expression.

Since 1999, November 20th has been the day we set aside to remember our sisters and brothers, sons and daughters, fathers and mothers, lovers, companions, friends and total strangers whose lives were cut short by violence, ignorance, misogyny and fear. This is our day to honor and remember those who died simply because they were or were perceived to be sharing our transgender umbrella.

We know that at least one trans person dies violently every month. Many of these murders remain unsolved. This does not include those who take their own lives after having been slowly but surely emotionally assassinated by intolerance, indifference, poverty and isolation. Those of us who share, to one degree or another, a trans identity are the survivors… and when I did the math with regard to my own life, I realized how very fortunate I have been. As of today, I’ve survived 496 months since first coming out as transgender at 12 years of age.

Lawrence King was not as fortunate.

I did not have the privilege of knowing Larry in life; however I did spend several weeks earlier this year in Oxnard, California speaking with Larry’s friends, teachers, counselors, mentors and neighbors.

Joined by my friends and colleagues, Hayley Klug, Mariette Pathy Allen and Esther Griffin, I met with school administrators, the Mayor of Oxnard and even Larry’s father and family members of the boy who shot Larry. I have taught classes at E.O Green Middle School… 20 feet from classroom #42 in which Larry was shot in the head twice from behind at close range. Several of the students who were there that day were in the classes I taught.

You may have read that Larry was a troubled and flamboyant gay teen who liked to wear women’s clothing and harass straight boys. That Larry flaunted his sexuality. That one of the boys Larry liked finally wouldn’t take it anymore and brought a gun to school and shot Larry twice in the head as Larry sat at a desk in the computer lab.

I’m here to tell you that the only true part of any of that, is that one of the boys Larry liked brought a gun to school and shot Larry twice in the head. The remainder is nothing more than a cisgender-centric manipulation of Larry King’s trans identity in order to fit his death into a politically useful, binary gendered model of what homophobic violence is.

An article in The Advocate even suggested that support and encouragement for Larry’s overtly feminine gender identity and expression and his presumptively "gay" sexual orientation contributed to Larry’s death. It’s time for the hijacking of Larry King’s identity to stop. Larry, who told friends he preferred the name “Letitia”, was transgender.

It’s true that Letitia had male anatomy and at 15 was boy crazy (as are many straight girls at that age). But as many of us in this audience already understand, our identity… her identity existed between her ears and not between her thighs. The inability of some cisgender people in ALL communities to understand and respect that simple fact lies at the center of the identity theft that Letitia King was subjected to in life and most tragically, in death.

Letitia ’s life was complex, challenging, inspiring and, in the days prior to her murder, even joyous.

Born on January 13, 1993, Letitia turned fifteen one month prior to being killed. She had been taunted, harassed and abused for being feminine from elementary school on. Long before she may have even had a sexual orientation, Letitia understood that non-conforming gender expression is at the core of LGBT oppression. And yet, this small for her age child never backed down from being who she was.

Everyone who knew Letitia said that the weeks after she began fully expressing her true gender identity were the happiest of her life. Far from being the outcast some have portrayed her to be, Letitia had many friends at school, mostly other girls, and was well-liked by many in the school faculty and staff.

She loved butterflies. A child after my own heart, she loved the music of Crosby, Still & Nash. Her favorite song though, was “Lean On Me”, which she confidently told her chorus teacher she wanted to sing the solo on at the Spring 2008 school concert.

Letitia was described as a sweet child who befriended stray animals. Together with her adoptive mother, she crocheted scarves to send to the troops in Afghanistan and she loved Archie, the dinosaur-sized therapy dog at Casa Pacifica, the residential care center she was staying in at the time of her death. When asked how she withstood the teasing, bullying, harassment, physical and emotional abuse of others, including possibly members of her family, Letitia would simply say; “I am what I am.”

While some have tried to co-opt, manipulate, pigeon-hole and minimize Letitia’s identity in order to serve political or social causes, the brilliance of who she was lights the way out of the shadows for those who were fortunate enough to have known her. Averi, one of Letitia’s friends wrote this poem a few days after her death:

“I was his friend
And loved him till the end
You all treated him bad
You made him feel so very sad
Now take your life and change it up
So God can fully fill your cup”

Whether one attends a church that believes in a Supreme Being, or worships as I do at the intersection of equality, justice, respect and hope, we must all keep our cups filled with the compassion needed to understand those who are different than us and the courage to, despite all opposition, stand together not just as men and women of trans experience, but as human beings first and foremost.

Another victim of senseless violence, Martin Luther King, once said:

“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”

We owe it to those we remember today, to Letitia King, to Cameron McWilliams who took his own life at age 10 after telling his mother he wanted to be a girl, to Ian Benson and Gwen Araujo, to Brandon Teena and Barry Winchell. To the transgender children of today and tomorrow whose quality of life and whose very lives hang in the balance of what we do on their behalf in the days, weeks, months and years to come.

To each of us who has traveled our own unique road to where we are, and to where we’re going. To all of these and to those whose names and lives may never be known, let us remember… and let us promise them that from this day forward, we will never again be silent about the things that matter.

Peace.

Jenn Burleton
Executive Director
TransActive

A Broken Youth: Why Gay Adults Should Be Able to Adopt

2008-11-26T14:10:00.000-08:00

(I wrote this for my English class. I liked it so I decided to post it here)

A Broken Youth: Why Gay Adults Should Be Able to Adopt

The glass dish slams against the wall barely missing his face. The sound of the plate shattering breaks the screaming of the house. More then dishes are being broken tonight. A fourteen-year-old boy begins to run from his family. He runs with only one thing on his mind: an escape. He did not believe his family could hold so much hate. He cried and began to pant as his bare soles hit the pavement, and blood trickled down his face. He held onto his heart in sheer panic and collapsed next to the freeway entrance. It may sound unrealistic, but this situation is real for thousands of children. I know, because I am one of them.

When lesbian, gay, biseuxal, and/or transgender (LGBT) people come out to their families loosing everything is a real possibility. The state should allow LGBT parents to foster and adopt young people in need. According to a study by the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force on LGBT youth, “over twenty six percent of youth are forced to leave their home when they come out,” which is incredibly daunting (Ray). We are dealing with thousands upon thousands of children who become homeless. Young LGBT people who come out do not have a lot of options and there is a basic right, even for LGBT children, to have a safe place to live. Adults in the gay community become foster parents to give back and provide a safe place for these young people to live. Unfortunately, many do not think LGBT people are suitable parents (Rekers). In this paper I will use academic evidence and a personal example to disprove the position which proposes LGBT parents are unfit. If these young people do not find a safe, supportive place to live they can fall into the problematic foster care system, the criminal justice system, the homeless system, or even death. America is failing our young people, and we must increase tolerance and understanding if we expect to save our most vulnerable.

George Rekers, from the National Association for Research and Therapy of Homosexuality, claims that “homosexual people are not fit to be parents.”His number one claim in his paper is that “homosexually behaving adults have more stress in their lives then heterosexual people and thus would be more damaging to young people in care” (Rekers). This claim exposes biased research because he claims LGBT people should not be parents because of the stress of an LGBT parental unit, while never addressing why they may have more stress. LGBT people have more stress in their lives, and in their family structures, because of society’s stigma, institutionalized discrimination, and rejection of LGBT people. They do not have more stress because gay people inherently have more tension in their lives. The APA, the American Psychological Association, agree by stating on their website,

“The widespread prejudice, discrimination, and violence to which lesbians and gay men are often subjected are significant mental health concerns. Sexual prejudice, sexual orientation discrimination, and antigay violence are major sources of stress for lesbian, gay, and bisexual people (APA).”

Rekers also exposes his own bias with how he identifies LGBT people as “homosexually behaving” adults. The term used by Rekers is rejected by mainstream scientific organizations like the APA, as evident with the removal of homosexuality as a disease in 1973 (Bradly). He minimizes gay people by claiming that being gay is a behavior, that can be corrected, not an intrinsic identity. He also compares gay parents to “households with a pedophilic behaving adult, households with practicing criminals, households with drug dealers and drug abusers.” The irony in his statements is that no matter how he much he argues, LGBT people are not sex offenders, drug dealers, or, since 2003 (Lawrence vs. Texas), criminals of the state.

Rekers continues to infer in his paper that gay people can change their orientation and that the behavior is socially damaging to society. Rekers seems to be scapegoating gay people as carriers of destruction, disease, and wickedness. His statements are a reflection of the organization he represents and the organizations it aligns itself with.
I do not agree with Rekers research and conclusion and I have a personal example here to be shared within the context of this academic paper about the success of parents happen to be to be gay. LGBT people should be able to foster and help young people because LGBT adults may have gone through similar situations in their youth. They can accept, and support this specific group of young people on a different level then a heterosexual parent. I ran away when I came out because my family did not want anything to do with me anymore and it is interesting to note who exactly I lived with when I ran away. I lived with a lesbian couple.

There were a couple places I could have gone, but I decided to live with this specific couple because of the love they accepted me with. The reason I found support, acceptance, and love is because they were able to understand me. I wanted a family to cherish, nurture, and love every part of me, not cherry pick what they found acceptable and what they believed to be distasteful, especially an identity. I wanted a family who would not question if I had antagonized the bullying at school, or if getting spit on while I rode the bus was my fault. I longed for a family to stand up for equality, justice, and fairness, not just pass by with the status quo. This couple became my family. I lived with them because they were able to support me on a whole different level then my heterosexual rejecting parent. I believe this is a personal story that many young people hold to be truth when raised by a family member of similar characteristics. It helps to be able to connect with the youth you are caring for.

But it is not always this positive, it is disappointing that many people who provide a home for homeless youth, or youth in care, but do not recognize their own bias for getting involved in the foster care system. Many youth, as evident from the Task Force’s study on homelessness, happen to be LGBT. Between 20-40 percent of homeless youth identify as LGBT (Ray). Many conservative faith based institutions and families discriminate against LGBT youth who happen to wind up on their doorsteps. A youth who was rejected from their family may be further traumatized as another rejects them (CWLA). We need to make sure this does not happen by not only allowing all eligible and stable adults to be foster parents, but also invest in culturally competent and accepting adults to help our young people. Not all heterosexual adults are good parents, and neither are all LGBT adults, but that does not mean we should exclude an entire minority because of cultural bias.

Popular science further supports the fact that LGBT people are suitable parents and refutes the idea Rekers and other conservative organizations promote. The APA released a study in 2004 solidifying research from the 70’s that homosexual parenting is normal and suitable to a child’s development (APA). They found no evidence to suggest the contrary. The APA also stated that stress in LGBT homes are likely caused by external factors like society refusing to recognize LGBT people as legitimate members of society, then anything else (APA). They state that the rejection of the child’s family “sends a signal to the child and society that their family situation is unacceptable and subject to ridicule. “ This statement directly refutes the claim made by Rekers.

The APA expands on past research that LGBT parents raise healthy children on their website:
“Studies comparing groups of children raised by homosexual and by heterosexual parents find no developmental differences between the two groups of children in four critical areas: their intelligence, psychological adjustment, social adjustment, and popularity with friends. It is also important to realize that a parent's sexual orientation does not indicate their children's.”

So we know there is an overrepresentation of LGBT homeless youth but the question is what do we do now with this data? This academic paper exists to promote an end to bans on LGBT people being included in the general pool of foster parents. Research by the APA, scholarly journals, and respected researchers confirm that LGBT adults are capable of raising children into healthy and productive members of society (APA). LGBT adults may even be more likely to relate to specific groups of young people from similar situations, like gay youth and help them grow into productive members of society (CWLA). With bans on gay people adopting and being foster parents in states such as Florida, Mississippi, Utah, and now Arkansas, it seems the battle is heating up (Ruggeri). As American citizens it is our duty to respect everyone and to recognize that impartial scientific evidence must trump public opinion, otherwise we may as well live in a Stone Age theocracy minimizing all minorities and those who disagree. That is not a democracy. America was created on the principle that “all men are created equal,” and like Harvey Milk, a gay leader, said “no matter how hard you try, you can never erase those words from the constitution.” I believe in the constitution.

I conclude with a poem named London by the poet William Blake. It reminds me of the challenges facing our young people. In this poem Blake describes London with desolation and how it is infesting thoughts with negativity. He describes a London that is ignoring its civilians and turning a horrible situation even direr. London may not specifically be about LGBT youth in care, but it does represent a feeling that many LGBT youth find themselves in. The emotion they often feel is one of hopelessness. LGBT youth have daunting statistical data suggesting that they will break, fail, and die faster then other youth, but it is not just mind-forged manacles that Rekers suggests with his flawed data, but factual data of society’s intolerance and what it causes. LGBT youth should be provided safe, stable, accepting homes and LGBT adults should be able to foster and care for these, and other youth. Parents who can relate to these young people will be able to help them grow when no other adult would. Let us not neglect our most vulnerable.

.

A Short Reflection of Community Organizations by Kyle Rapinan

2008-11-15T08:12:00.001-08:00

A college education, this is the aspiration I knew would be an escape to a life of instability and hostility. I have a similar story to many youth that are abandoned by their families for convenience. When I was fourteen I ran away from home because being gay was not an option with my unstable mother and homophobic and violent brother. I floated from friend's house to friend's house throughout my high school career. Four years is a long time to live such instability. The bullying followed me to my school when I came out there. I turned to the Gay Straight Alliance at my school for help and found out that I was not worthless and had a purpose. I kept focused and graduated with decent grades and a surprising acceptance to the University of Washington.

Looking back at my negative and positive experiences I know that if it was not for community organizations, loving friends, and loyal teachers I would not be here today. I am a true example of a village raising a child. My village happened to consist of mostly LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender), or inclusive, organizations. It made sense that I would fall into the safety net of Seattle's LGBT community. This community happened to be the only place where I truly felt safe and accepted. The LGBT community in Seattle, and the allies who helped me figure out my purpose in life, truly saved me from a life of instability and homelessness. Organizations like the Lambert House, a queer youth drop in center, American Friends Service Committee, a social justice organization and speaker's bureau, Seattle Education Access, an educational advocacy organization, and of course, the Safe Schools Coalition, a international partnership for safer schools, helped truly solidify my future. I would not be here today, or the young adult I am presently, without these, and countless other community organizations. The people organizing for safer schools with Safe Schools Coalition have truly changed my life and I hope to give back continuously.

But then my dreams almost seemed unobtainable when my mother would not release her tax returns so I could receive federal money. My dreams came to a halt and I panicked. But then I heard about SEA and they worked with me to petition the University of Washington to grant independent status so I could receive federal funds. I was also able to receive a couple large scholarships from Pride Foundation, Colin Higgins Foundation, the GSBA and other community organizations. I utilized the Safe Schools Coalition youth website to discover doors to my future. Safe Schools is a great resource for our community.

I am happy to report that I have the next few years paid for and my dream of a college education is being fulfilled everyday. I plan on obtaining a law degree and becoming a civil rights lawyer for non-profit's and minorities. I can not thank LGBT organizations enough, like Safe Schools, for their empathy, love and care for the future leaders of tomorrow.

Kyle Rapinan
Past Intern for American Friends Service Committee and Safe Schools Coalition
University of Washington Student

Civil rights and civics lessons ... marriage equality and Proposition 8

2008-11-12T15:39:00.000-08:00

Adam R wrote today on a PFLAG National Blog post Olbermann on Marriage Equality:

Keith Olbermann of MSNBC commented on his show recently about the passing of Proposition 8 in California, and his dismay and disappointment with the results. He wonders why anyone would want to deny another person the right to the same things that they enjoy.

Keith Olbermann is thoughtful, powerful, and wonderful. He said:

You are asked now, by your country, and perhaps by your creator, to stand on one side or another. You are asked now to stand, not on a question of politics, not on a question of religion, not on a question of gay or straight. You are asked now to stand, on a question of...love. All you need do is stand, and let the tiny ember of love meet its own fate. You don't have to help it, you don't have it applaud it, you don't have to fight for it. Just don't put it out.

Please watch & listen to his whole commentary here:

Thank you, Keith Olbermann.

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Join the Impact: A Protest for LGBTQ Rights in cities in EVERY state in America and some other countries.

Tuesday night was a bitter-sweet celebration. We came together to witness the first black man who will become our president, yet watched in sadness as Florida, Arizona, Arkansas, and California all voted down equal rights for all citizens.

This is not a 4 state issue. This is an issue of equality across America. Stand up and make your voice heard.

Join the Impact
This Saturday, November 15th
8:30AM HST - 10:30AM West Coast - 11:30AM Mountain - 12:30PM Central - 1:30PM East Coast

See jointheimpact.wetpaint.com for locations and more information.

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Safe Schools Coalition friend Steve Schalchlin wrote yesterday:

Asking for the right to marry does not change society except in one way: It makes it more just.

Read the whole blog post Steve ended with that line: Why SoulForce Marches.

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Also, see this post on my personal blog for a message from the band Rebecca Riots, and a link to a free song to download: Rebecca Riots - A Thousand Hands (Wedding Song '08).

It Was The Best Of Times...

2008-11-07T14:00:00.001-08:00

A friend of mine posted this on a Yahoo! Group we both participate in:

"OK, let me state for the record that I voted for John McCain because I thought and still believe that he was better qualified. I don’t think that my vote makes me a racist (Besides, most of you who know me, know better than that)."

I don't believe for a moment that everyone who voted for McCain is a racist. I do believe though that, in general, the concept of and quest for equality for all Americans is further down McCain voters "to do" list than I am comfortable with.

I could never vote for any candidate that stood opposed to full equality for lesbian and gay Americans in committed relationships. So long as the Republican party (or any party) bases that intolerant and discriminatory aspect of it's political platform on evangelical religious doctrine, I will never understand how anyone professing commitment to human rights could vote for them.

Let me ask a question of McCain voters: If everything else about John McCain's campaign remained the same with the following exception; instead of opposing "gay marriage" the Republican party and its candidate opposed the right of an African-American to marry a Caucasian, would YOU still have voted for McCain?

I was a Hillary Clinton supporter. I believed that our nation was finally going to see someone from the majority binary gender ascend to the highest office in the land. I believed that she was imminently qualified and ready for the job. Yet, despite my dedication to Hillary, I told anyone who would listen that our nation was so very fortunate to have (in my opinion) at least two highly qualified and visionary candidates running to be President of The United States of America.

I voted proudly and enthusiastically for Barack Hussein Obama because I believe he was the most qualified candidate. I believe his steadiness, good judgment, even-temper and impressive intellect are exactly what this country and the world desperately need in order to recover from past eight disastrous years.

I've waited almost 40 years for someone to truly inspire me to believe that America is still a place where hope trumps fear, where equality overcomes discrimination and intolerance, where intellectual curiosity, scientific knowledge and competence takes precedence over ignorance, authoritarianism and arch-conservative religious doctrine. To some degree, the wait ended Tuesday night.

To paraphrase the words of Michelle Obama, I have never been more proud to be an American than I was on November 4th. I was not, however, as proud as I had hoped to be.

On the same night that millions of progressive minded Californians helped elect Barack Obama President, a majority of those same Californians voted to take away the existing rights of their lesbian and gay neighbors.

It hurts to realize that while I was casting my vote for Barack Obama in Oregon, a majority of African-American and Hispanic voters down the coast in California were saying "yes" not only to discrimination, but "yes" to the removal of existing rights from Americans like me.

70% of African-Americans voted to ban "gay marriage"
53% of Hispanics voted to ban "gay marriage"

The irony is immobilizing: The inspiration and hope that drove so many minorities (and majorities) to the polls to vote for Barack Obama also (temporarily) doomed existing marriage equality for lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender Californians.

An America that takes an historic step forward while simultaneously stepping on lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender Americans is standing tall on a shaky foundation. We have much work to do.

On election night Barack Obama said;

"If there is anyone out there who still doubts that America is a place where all things are possible; who still wonders if the dream of our founders is alive in our time; who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer.

It's the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, Democrat and Republican, black, white, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, GAY, STRAIGHT, disabled and not disabled - Americans who sent a message to the world that we have never been just a collection of individuals or a collection of Red States and Blue States: we are, and always will be, the United States of America."

Cher (my partner of 26 years) and I remain proud of our vote for President-Elect Obama. We believe that America's best days lie ahead. We believe in his dedication and commitment to returning America to a place where its better angels speak louder than the demons of hate, prejudice, self-righteousness, greed and imperialism.

We believe. We believe as much as second-class citizens, in second class relationships with second class families can believe.

We shall overcome.

Jenn Burleton
Portland, OR

Dr. Phil's "Gender Confused Children"

2008-11-04T09:13:00.000-08:00

From TransActive

Portland, OR (November 4, 2008) -

It’s almost become de rigueur in daytime television for shows to have an episode devoted to transgender and gender non-conforming children and youth, so the TransActive staff wasn’t too surprised when we heard that “Dr. Phil” was planning to air such an episode. While initially optimistic the show could reach out to families that might not otherwise have the opportunity to learn about trans youth issues, we were, in the end, sorely disappointed.

From the beginning, Phil McGraw let his own bias regarding transgender identity in children run the show. Tellingly, the show itself was titled “Gender Confused Children,” an incredibly inaccurate and misleading characterization of the children TransActive represents. It is our experience that trans and gender non-conforming children are anything but confused about their gender, and that it is society’s refusal to meet them on their own terms that is the source of any confusion.

The show began by introducing Melissa and Tim, the proud and supportive parents of an 8-year old trans girl. This family exemplified how successful trans children can be when supported by their parents, but this positive outcome was soon undermined by Dr. Phil’s relentless and dismissive questions and commentary.

It’s hard to believe someone could look at a happy, well-adjusted girl who has consistently and vocally identified as female for five of her eight years and lived as such for two years, and still ask her, “Are you sure?” Nevertheless, Dr. Phil did so repeatedly. Even more chillingly, when Tim and Melissa brought up the serious negative consequences of trying to force their daughter to be someone she is not, up to and including the vastly increased risk of suicide, Dr. Phil appeared to blithely brush these concerns away.

Next on the show was Dr. Daniel Siegel, a previously unknown but welcome new resource for us here at TransActive. While we tend to be conservative in our endorsement of physical and mental healthcare providers, we were impressed by his understanding of the issues. Not only was Dr. Siegel’s understanding of gender and childhood development complex and nuanced, he was able to communicate his perspective in an extremely straightforward and comprehensible manner. However, Dr. Phil once again disappointed by juxtaposing Dr. Siegel’s testimony with that of another “expert”, Glenn Stanton.

Mr. Stanton is the Research Fellow for Global Family Formation at Focus On The Family, an evangelical Christian organization based in Colorado Springs, Colorado. While Dr. Siegel was able to easily counter each and every one of Stanton’s arguments (even at one point demonstrating that an example Stanton was citing actually disproved Stanton’s his own argument), Dr. Phil glossed over these misrepresentations of fact and research and continued to present Stanton as an expert on childhood gender identity issues.

According to Stanton’s biography, he is a graduate of the University of West Virginia, having earned a Master’s Degree in interdisciplinary humanities with an emphasis on philosophy, history and religion.

The final guest on the program was Mary, a mother whose teenage son identified as female from a very early age, but later recanted those feelings and chose live as a male. While such cases are not unknown, our experience indicates that many (if not most) gender-identity ‘reversals’ are the result of the child surrendering to external pressures placed on them rather then a genuine shift in the child’s core gender identity.

While initially supporting her son in his gender expression, Mary blamed herself for “encouraging” his behavior and her husband for not spending enough time with his son. She told Dr. Phil, “I was allowing him to be what he wasn’t.”

In the face of ever-increasing abuse at school and the beginnings of puberty, her son finally gave up and tried conforming to the gender expression standards set by society. While he professes to have resolved his gender identity issues and even “thinks of himself as straight,” his mother went so far as to say, “I don’t know if he’s being totally honest with himself.”

For those of us who work with gender non-conforming children and youth, such a story is an all too familiar example of how marginalization, misinformation and emotional abuse conspire to force a child into hiding their identity from everyone around them, often either repressing such feelings for decades or turning to desperate measures such as self-harm and suicide. For Dr. Phil, however, Mary’s son was nothing but a convenient justification for his own bias against being supportive of children in their gender non-conforming expression.

This show should prove a cautionary tale for parents or caregivers invited to be on a talk show highlighting transgender and gender non-conforming children. These shows may approach the issue with an ideological bias, often fueled by a desire to generate conflict, which then results in higher ratings. That approach may not have you and your child’s best interest at heart. No matter how poised, prepared, and confident you are, if the show’s producer film the episode with an agenda in mind, then that is the agenda that will be reflected in the final broadcast. If you are contacted about appearing on one of these programs, we suggest you do three things:

1. Do some research on the show in question. Have they covered this issue or similar ones before? Were the people on the show treated respectfully, or did the show exploit them and their stories?

2. Contact an organization such as TransActive and consult with them on how best to proceed. Request that the show have a representative from an organization such as ours on the program with you. Insist on knowing who the other guests on the show will be and do some research on them in advance of taping the program. If you do not feel comfortable with the other guests, make that clear to the show producer. If necessary, decline to participate in the show if your concerns are not dealt with to your satisfaction.

3. Make sure you and the show’s producers have an understanding of exactly what you are going to be sharing on the air.

The old adage that “so long as they spell my name right, all publicity is good publicity” certainly does not apply to public discussion of a child’s gender identity and expression. When guests with an idealogical bias against freedom of childhood gender expression are mixed with a live audience and the quest for high ratings you have a situation that, by definition, puts your family’s response to your child’s gender expression up for public referendum. Your child and family deserve more than that. We all deserve better than what Dr. Phil McGraw served up last week.

Hayley Klug

Assistant Director

TransActive

hayley@transactiveonline.org

The "Coming Out... as What?" Question

2008-11-02T19:31:00.000-08:00

So far this year I’ve been occupying the role of a cisgender, straight male LGBTQ ally in my classroom. It feels completely bizarre since I don’t think of myself or aim to mark myself as “straight” in my everyday life. But even though being perceived and treated as a heterosexual male is still foreign to me, I’ve been surprised by how comfortable and effective I’ve felt broaching issues of social justice with my students from this subject-position. Having been immersed in particular queer communities that tend to valorize “outness” and equate it – problematically – with radicalism, I’m currently fighting against an ingrained impulse to self-flagellate for being “closeted.”

But what closet am I in, really? “Coming out” as trans is different from, and often does not parallel, queer “coming out” narratives. In terms of gender, my “passing anxiety” has heightened considerably since I began physically transitioning and living as male in my work life. (I imagine this is not an uncommon trans experience.) I’m still dreading the day when I am outed as trans to all of my students. I dread, both at work and in my personal life, having to justify my presentation as though I am somehow “deceiving” people by “masquerading” as a straight man. Self-identifying as queer” seems like it could be a helpful and defensive buffer now, in the sense that it could ease some of that tension in the moment I become out as trans to my students.

But what would it mean for me to come out as a queer man to my students right at this moment in time, when they are not aware that I am trans? Throughout my past I have been sexually and romantically involved with men, but I’m currently in a relationship with a woman and have always been more interested in women. In my social life I am inclined to identify as queer, but even that is complicated at this point – what makes me queer, now? I get uncomfortable when people rely on trans identity to prove or authenticate queerness, because a person’s trans history does not necessarily mean that he or she is queer or queer-identified. Assuming an inherent connection between “trans” and “queer” identities feels like Step One in invalidating many trans people’s genders. The suggestion that my designation as female at birth automatically makes me queer just perpetuates the faulty notion that I am not really a man.

Ultimately, my point is that the “what does it mean to be queer?” question is something I need to grapple with in my personal sphere, not in my professional life or with my students. As “Ms. K” the past two years, I happily and openly identified as “queer” with my students - often in response to the constant questions that arose because of my visible gender non-normativity. I’ve learned first-hand that it can be extremely valuable for students to see queer teachers out and visible in their schools. But there is no need for me to get into the complicated inner workings of my sexuality and desires with my students; and if I were to do open that door it would be coming from a place of self-absorption. It would be more about me than about my students.

I choose to look at it this way: Straight male LGBTQ advocates are often hard to come by, and they – we? – can play an important role in any push for LGBTQ-awareness. So I’m resolved to be happy where I am for the time being.

GLSEN's New PSAs a Mixed Blessing

2008-10-12T15:39:00.000-07:00

Let me begin with congratulations on a social marketing campaign that will totally get people talking and thinking all over the country. GLSEN, the Ad Council and ArnoldNYC should be entirely proud of that. And their teachers' guide, downloadable free from http://thinkb4youspeak.com/, is awesome.

That said, I hope that teacher trainers all over the country will ask teachers NOT to take the ads literally and NOT to try their strategy at home ... insulting young people to get them to stop insulting others. It's like hitting kids to get them to stop hitting. While it may be funny in the context of an ad and when you aren't the youth in question, it's neither effective nor ethical in the real world. The ads are meant to get people talking, NOT to model good ways to intervene when people say, "That's so gay!" to mean something is stupid or boring.

I use a strategy a teacher once taught me. I use my own name, Beth, as an analogy and ask the offender how they think I would feel if I heard people call disgusting things "so Beth" 99 times a day. Using my name or my own identity is way preferable to using that of the student. Attacking a student, even in a sarcastic way, only reinforces the idea that meanness is funny. It doesn't build empathy.

Another strategy is so simple that my niece used it successfully when she was about 9 years old to shut down a harassing situation. Two girls were surveying their class on the playgound about which of two classmates they liked better. Sarah said, "That's so mean!" One of the offenders tried to blame the other and Sarah just repeated, "I don't care; it's still so mean." After about the 3rd time she called their survey mean, they gave it up altogether.

Anyway, I hope teachers -- and students for that matter -- will find some alternative to the "That's so Emma and Julia" of the ads. Maybe it sounds saccharine, but life is too short to run around hurting one another, especially in the name of prejudice reduction.

Say What? The "Think Before You Speak" Campaign

2008-10-11T10:46:00.000-07:00

GLSEN, together with The Ad Council, has created the thinkb4youspeak.com campaign.

Think Before You Speak

This multimedia public service advertising campaign - which includes the videos above and below - and several others - is designed to address the use of anti-LGBT language among teens. The campaign aims to raise awareness among straight teens about the prevalence and consequences of anti-LGBT bias and behavior in America’s schools.

Lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) teens experience homophobic remarks and harassment throughout the school day, creating an atmosphere where they feel disrespected, unwanted and unsafe. Homophobic remarks such as “that’s so gay” are the most commonly heard; these slurs are often unintentional and a common part of teens’ vernacular. Most do not recognize the consequences, but the casual use of this language often carries over into more overt harassment.

This campaign aims to raise awareness about the prevalence and consequences of anti-LGBT bias and behavior in America’s schools. Ultimately, the goal is to reduce and prevent the use of homophobic language in an effort to create a more positive environment for LGBT teens. The campaign also aims to reach adults, including school personnel and parents; their support of this message is crucial to the success of efforts to change behavior.

"SAY WHAT?" on the website is where you can click on a floating word to see what it actually means, or actually doesn't mean. (See the left column on the website.)

Think Before You Speak - Cashier

GLSEN has also created an Educator's Guide to assist middle and high school educators in presenting the various components of this campaign to students, framing and discussing the ads in class, and extending student learning about the negative consequences of homophobic language and anti-LGBT bias.

Parents are also encouraged to Say Something Original and pledge to support safe schools efforts, and speak to your children’s teachers about using the Educator's Guide to the Campaign.

In an October 7, 2008 article in The New York Times, author Stewart Elliott wrote:

FOR the first time since the Advertising Council was founded in 1942, the organization — which directs and coordinates public service campaigns on behalf of Madison Avenue and the media industry — is introducing ads meant to tackle a social issue of concern to gays and lesbians.

The campaign, which is scheduled to be announced by the council in Washington on Wednesday, will seek to discourage bullying and harassment of teenagers who are gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender.

Read the article: Advertising: A Push to Curb the Casual Use of Ugly Phrases

Find out more about this campaign: thinkb4youspeak.com

Transitioning on the Job: Part Three

2008-10-06T22:10:00.000-07:00

Transitioning has shattered my understanding of how people are perceiving me. In my everyday life, I feel less and less certain about what sexual and gender identities other people are mapping onto me. In the past few weeks, I’ve been read as a straight, cisgendered man at gay male bars, and as a gay man by straight women whom I thought were hitting on me. I had my first experience of having to come out as a transsexual to a gay man who asked me out. These are all firsts for me. The cumulative effect of these seemingly minor, quotidian exchanges has felt utterly overwhelming at times.

Shifts in my physical appearance (and therefore in the way other people interact with me) have been disorienting at work, too. While modeling how to draft a personal essay the other day, the fact arose that my two best friends when I was in eighth grade were named Talia and Joanna. The moment I mentioned their names in my draft, a wave of giggles swept through the classroom. I turned around, surprised and unsure of the reason for the amusement. One flabbergasted student blurted out “GIRLS?” and I replied “yes, they were my friends.” In the brief flurry of whispers that ensued, I overheard comments like “he hung out with girls?!” I hadn’t anticipated that reaction. It hadn’t even occurred to me that it would seem strange that I spent time with girls as a kid. Upon reflection, though, I realize that most of my students immerse themselves in same-sex social groups. The impression I got from students’ reactions was that there was something “off” about an eighth grade boy whose best friends were girls. Perhaps, I realized, they’re suspecting that I might be a gay, cissexual man? I can’t tell.

Yesterday, one student came up to me with a book in hand to point out that “almost all of your books say ‘Ms. Krywanczyk’ in them.” She didn’t say it in an accusatory or “what’s going on here?” way. Her tone was earnest, and she clearly figured she’d inform me of something that she assumed I would want to know. My nervousness came through in my response: “Thanks for letting me know, you can change it if you want.” She walked away from my desk seeming a little confused and curious. Moments like this have illuminated my tendency to project my own “passing anxieties” onto my students. I had assumed that the “Ms. Krywanczyk” written in my classroom books would “give away” my trans-ness to students. However, a friend pointed out to me that students very well may see “Ms. Krywanczyk” not as an indicator that I was designated female at birth, but as a hint that I may have a wife. Sure enough, a few students have approached me to ask me if I’m married. (I’ve said a simple “no.”) But I haven’t fielded a single gender-related question, or had to address an inappropriate pronoun.

Frankly, I’m shocked that this hasn’t come up in my classroom yet. Maybe my sixth graders simply haven’t heard anything about the fact that I used to be Ms. K? That seems highly unlikely, though. Maybe seventh and eighth graders in the school have heard about my transition, and have kept relatively quiet about it? I’m skeptical of that, too. Some seventh and eighth graders who knew me last year have clearly “gotten the memo” about my transition, because they have begun referring to me as Mr. K. (Or perhaps some of them have just put two and two together.) But some of my former students who are currently seventh graders in the school still shout “Hi Ms. K!” when they see me in the hallways. It is possible, then, that my sixth graders have heard about my past as Ms. K – and they simply “get it.”

I would love to wire-tap students to be privy to the ways this kind of information is communicated, discussed, and spread. I’m absolutely dying to know, as very few people – students or adults – are discussing any of this with me. In the past three days, two coworker friends of mine have shared conversations that other teachers at our school have started with them about me and transgender issues. In both cases, other teachers approached coworkers whom they knew were friends of mine to ask extensive questions about my transition. While the thought of having friends put on the spot to speak for me and my identity makes me uncomfortable, I’m relieved that all of the burden of fielding these inquiries isn’t falling on me.

In response to questioning, though, I find myself oscillating between a personal impulse to engage in conversation with adults about my transition and a political obligation to establish that just because someone is transgender doesn’t make it okay to be invasive. I always feel like I should tell curious inquirers that they need to find some trans literature and educate themselves rather than depending on trans people to spoon-feed them information. No individual is obligated to educate the trans-ignorant world at large; and it would certainly be problematic for me to self-authorize to “represent” transgender people. However, at the same time I’m inclined to speak for my own personal experience and transition. And in terms of effective “Trans 101” teaching tools, nothing compares to “real life” interaction with trans people.

In both my professional and non-professional lives, I’ve been struggling to navigate boundaries when adults ask deeply personal questions about my body, my sexuality, my sex life, etc. It’s extremely important that I have cissexual supporters in my school - like these two coworker friends - whom I trust to address questions appropriately, to advocate for me, and to therefore alleviate some of the pressures to “educate” that might otherwise fall completely on me. I dislike the term “ally” for many reasons, but my awesome and trans-aware colleagues are contributing to my hopefulness about teaching this year.

Transitioning on the Job: Part Two

2008-09-20T08:00:00.001-07:00

A month ago, when a friend forwarded me a New York Times article about how transgender people are now experiencing “smoother transitions” in the workplace, I scoffed. After all, the idea that trans people “have it easy” in any way is pretty ridiculous. At that point, I was also anxiously anticipating my first day back at my school and coming out to my colleagues as a transsexual and as “Mr. Krywanczyk.”

As our first staff and faculty in-service day on August 28th neared, I felt incredibly nervous and sick to my stomach. My transition itself had been feeling very good to me. I felt more comfortable in my own skin and knew that I was on the right track for me. But the thought of coming out in an auditorium full of my colleagues and administrators intimidated me. The past two years I mostly avoided social events - such as after-school happy hours - with fellow teachers. My discomfort derived from the sense that I stood out not necessarily for my queerness or gender non-normativity, but for my progressive and radical political stances. Some of my interactions with fellow teachers, including being chastised for wanting to incorporate conversations about genocide and imperialism into our schoolwide celebration of Thanksgiving, left me feeling lonely and alienated. My impulse to protect myself, in addition to the fact that I felt fundamentally uncomfortable with myself, sparked a criticality of many others in my school. I was expecting the worst in coming out as trans.

However, my “coming out day” at my school went surprisingly well. At our first faculty assembly of the year, the speaker I brought in from the NYCLU did a superb job of presenting the basics of “how to respect trans people” without focusing exclusively on my personal transition. He spent a great deal of time connecting trans and gender issues to the students in our school, and explaining from a legal standpoint why it is educators’ responsibility to intervene whenever anybody – child or adult – is being harassed because of their gender expression or identity. His presentation, and my colleagues’ response to it, renewed my faith in and appreciation of third party advocates who know what they are doing. It can be so effective for people who are not familiar with a particular issue to hear about it from a seemingly unrelated person or organization. The NYCLU really came through for me and for other trans people in our school.

After the NYCLU representative spoke, I stood up and announced that I had started transitioning, and that I would be going by male pronouns and by “Mr. Krywanczyk” from that point on. I knew that the NYCLU speaker had discouraged direct harassment or invasive questions, but I was mostly concerned that colleagues would ignore me out of awkwardness or discomfort. But my coworkers, even those whom I have perceived as politcally conservative or “frat” types, pleasantly surprised me. Instead of avoiding me, a large number of them proactively approached me after the speaker that day to congratulate me, assure me that I would be fine, and to tell me that they had my back. Frankly, I had underestimated many of them. Ultimately, I know there’s something valuable in taking a defensive stance and being proven wrong about it – but I felt like a little bit of a jerk for having expected the worst.

Though I was less worried about students’ reactions to my transition than I was about the responses of adults in my building, the teaching aspect of this year has gone smoothly, as well. I have had no issues with my colleagues, and I have been recognizing a great deal of growth I’ve made as an educator – which is undoubtedly connected to, though not equatable with, my personal growth. Already this year, I’ve felt more excited about my job than I ever imagined I could be. My markedly increased comfort in the role of “teacher” and my newfound passion for teaching are the results of several coinciding factors: Everything I’ve learned over the past two years that has helped me be more organized and prepared with lessons and my classroom than I have been before; my decision to dive into “dressing up for work” and wearing ties every day, which make me feel like a responsible adult and are also useful gender markers for colleagues and students; and a new classroom that is spacious and well-equipped for English classes, as opposed to my previous year’s room.

Presenting as male has also caused some palpable and very noticeable changes in the way students respond to me. According to my observation, my status as "Mr. Krywanczyk" has remained unquestioned among my sixth graders this year. As a male teacher, it is clear that I command more respect than in previous years when I identified as female and presented as a butch lesbian. One “teacher stare” goes a lot farther now that I am “Mr. Krywanczyk” than it ever used to, and I haven’t once felt tempted to shout or talk over any students in my classroom. I can’t be sure how much of that stems from my increased organization and ability to do my job, but my perceived gender undeniably helps. Feeling that kind of male privilege with regards to my students has been illuminating already.

Possibly the strangest aspect of this school year so far is the conspicuous absence of any sexuality- or gender-related questions and conversations among my students. I’m not sure how my students read me sexuality-wise, but after the past two years - when my appearance in combination with “Ms. K” prompted immediate and incessant inquiry - it seems bizarre to me that LGBT matters have not yet arisen in my classroom. Passing unquestioned as male with my students, and therefore mostly likely as a straight man by default, helps me better understand the experiences of friends of mine who have struggled to navigate “coming out” in their classrooms. It was never an option for me, before this year, to not be “out” as queer.

The current silence around LGBT issues probably won’t last very long, however. Considering the fact that my students from last year are still in the school, and they often shout “Hi Ms. K!” at me down hallways and across the streets outside our school, it seems inevitable that eventually my students will find out that I was “Ms. K” last year. I’m beginning to feel scared that my overwhelmingly positive transition experience will come crashing down at any minute.

I recently remembered, much to my horror, that over half of the books in my classroom library say “Ms. Krywanczyk” on them in permanent marker. Last year, two very well-meaning students had taken Sharpies to my library in an attempt to ensure that I didn’t lose any books.
Yesterday, one of my current students noticed such a “Ms. Krywanczyk” on the inside of his book, and I saw him look at it, look at me, look back at it, hold it up above his head, and gesture wildly at it to a friend of his across the room until I asked him to put the book down and begin reading. That moment gave me chills, and deflated me a bit – which took me by surprise. I’m realizing that for the first time in my life I’m understanding how right it feels fo rme to be male without necessarily being marked as “trans,” and I’m starting to feel reluctant to let go of that feeling, even though I want to be “out and proud.” I have to wait and see what happens in terms of “disclosure” and “coming out,” and I’m sure it will be a constant navigation.

Ultimately, though, I have received a mind-blowingly supportive and respectful reception in my school, and I am trying to appreciate and enjoy that in the moment. In hindsight, I realize what the New York Times article was getting at, even if it fails to represent more than a sliver of trans experiences. For the small subset of trans people like myself - who have a tremendous amount of resources, support, educational and socioeconomic advantages – maybe transitioning on the job isn’t necessarily a horrible and traumatizing experience. But if there is one thing the beginning of this year has illuminated, it’s how incredibly lucky and privileged I am.

Making Sense of the Senseless - and What Can Educators Do? with SSC's Beth Reis

2008-09-04T19:18:00.000-07:00

This article by our co-chair, Beth Reis, was just published in Teaching Tolerance Magazine, a project of Southern Poverty Law Center.

Certainly there are potential costs for a gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender student's honesty … discrimination by teachers, rejection by "friends" and, yes, even assault, rape, or murder. Are these experiences universal consequences of coming out? No. Do they happen? Yes.

But there's a flawed prevailing assumption: that being out necessarily increases a child's risk over some sort of bully-free baseline. Gay and, especially, gender variant children are often harassed long before consciously deciding whether to be out. It starts in primary grades. Gender variant little kids don't "choose" to be defiant about the larger culture's gender straight-jackets; it's how they're born. They may become more overt about it as they become more aware, at puberty, of its meaning and of their rights, but the harassment is hardly something they bring on themselves. In fact, whether you're gender variant or gay/lesbian/bi or both, coming out sometimes reduces the harassment you experience. It's not so much fun to hurl the vicious, "What are you ... gay or something?!" at a person whose response is a simple, non-defensive "yes."

The secrecy of the closet isn't without its own costs. These can include academic decline if you can't pay attention in class for worrying when a word or a gesture might lead to your life's unraveling. The costs can include profound loneliness. You can never be sure if those who love you are loving the mask or the person. You may deny yourself a supportive peer group because even accessing the gay-straight alliance may feel dangerous. You may deny yourself conversations with caring adults, unsure if you'll lose their esteem. You may forgo the typical adolescent social venues and, instead, find yourself in riskier adult environments. The closet can lead to depression and self-harm.

Read all of:
Making Sense of the Senseless: The Murder of Lawrence King
by Beth Reis, Safe Schools Coalition Co-Chair
Published in Teaching Tolerance Magazine, Number 34, Fall 2008

Web Exclusive! What Can Educators Do?
Teaching Tolerance sat down with Beth Reis and Helen Stillman of the Safe Schools Coalition, which shares the latest research, programs and ideas about preventing and responding to anti-gay harassment in schools to zero in on ways teachers can curb anti-gay bullying.

And: RECOMMENDED RESOURCES

Seeing Our Students

2008-08-20T11:48:00.000-07:00

I recently heard that the family of Lawrence King has filed personal injury claims against the Oxnard, California school district and county. Unfortunately, however, King's family has decided to blame the school for "allowing" King to behave and act flamboyantly and to wear clothes that were out of the school's gendered dress code. While I understand and sympathize with the family's grief and eagerness to hold the school accountable in some way, this particular lawsuit seems to be another frustrating gesture blaming King's gender expression for his/her own death when in fact King should have been protected no matter what.

I believe it is important to hold schools accountable for failing to foster an atmosphere and environment of safety for trans and queer youth. Administrators and teachers need to start understanding that it is impossible to protect students who are invisible to us. We cannot “protect” students whose identities and realities we refuse to see and respect.

The atmosphere of repression around sexuality and gender expression in public schools is astounding. Every day I get an influx of email news updates about another public school that has denied its students a Gay-Straight Alliance, or another instance of students being bullied, or another administrator who lectured a queer or trans student about how wrong homosexuality is. Most public schools seem dead-set on invisibilizing, weeding out, or ignoring LGBTQ students and LGBTQ issues that directly affect students.

Even in the context of my school, where teachers generally have a remarkable amount of freedom to determine our own curricula, I could not share news articles about King’s death with my students without admonishment and warning from numerous colleagues. My administrators have also expressed a strong desire to keep my transition as quiet as possible. I was recently informed that my principal has been advised by the New York Department of Education to avoid talking to students about my transition, and I learned that I am being moved to a different floor in my school. However, even if nobody raises questions or concerns about my transition, trying to sweep it under the rug is a band-aid solution that implies that my administration believes me to be an exception, a special case, and the only transgender person with trans-related needs in our school.

This is where my school, though well-intentioned and relatively supportive, seems to be making the same mistake that so many other public schools make. My transition is not the singular reason my colleagues and administrators need to learn to respect and support transgender people. In fact, my feelings are probably the least important aspect of all of this. After all, I am an adult, and it will not be the end of my world if someone refers to me as “she”. However, what message would it send to students about respecting gender identities if my colleagues use inappropriate pronouns or disrespect my identity in front of students? What impact could that have on a gender variant or queer middle school student? LGBTQ issues are students’ lives, identities, families, friends, neighbors, and teachers. They are immediate, real, and non-negotiable – and it is inevitable that some of the students of the 1,000 in my school are trans or gender variant.

And we can’t protect students whose realities and identities we refuse to see.

It is also inevitable that most of the school this year will know I am a transsexual. For administrators to maintain a willful ignorance about the controversy, emotion, and curiosity that will undoubtedly arise at some points as a result of my transition would shift onto me, individually, all responsibility to “educate” others about trans matters – and I find that unacceptable. I can’t speak for all trans people, and I should not be obligated to spend my energies versing my colleagues in Trans 101 or to spend my professional time doing transgender “damage control.” I am happy to engage in conversation and answer (some) questions on my own time, and only when I have the emotional energy.

Luckily, my principal has given me permission to find a third party to come and speak for fifteen minutes during one of our in-service days next week. I’ve contacted a lawyer from the NYCLU who has committed to talking with my colleagues and administrators on August 28th about transgender rights in New York City and about how to respect transgender people (both adults and children). He and I have collaborated to plan the presentation, and he has experience engaging with administrators and public schools, so I hope this will be a significant step towards establishing a common transgender and queer vocabulary at my school. I also hope that this speaker will help teachers and administrators realize that opening, rather than avoiding, dialogue is crucial to recognizing identities and experiences.

This approach applies to individual classrooms, as well. Instead of censoring what students “can” or cannot say in a top-down fashion, I prefer to encourage an expansion of students’ knowledge and understanding about the history and power of language. This past year I spent one day reading a GLSEN text on the etymology of the word “faggot” with students and engaging in class conversation about the violence of the word, and about why some people choose to describe and identify themselves as “faggots.” Declaring any particular word “off-limits” both entices students to use it when they are out of earshot and denies the experience of students who may identify with the word or what it symbolizes to them.

I believe it is possible to establish a safe environment without restricting students’ free speech, but it requires the classic teaching method of showing – not telling – students that words can have serious implications. This means that teachers and administrators must begin opening conversations in our schools that are difficult, painful, and often cause a great deal of anxiety.

But look at it this way: How will students ever understand the word “faggot,” and why they shouldn’t use it in a derogatory way, if we cannot talk about it or use the word itself? How can we truly see our students, let alone protect them, if we are scared to engage with the language used to defile and tear them down?

We can’t.

Likewise, we can't protect students if we don't acknowledge their gender expressions as valid and legitimate. Though I have the utmost sympathy for Lawrence King's family, the lawsuit they have filed fails to hold King's school truly accountable for its failures.

Wow! Jay Smooth: How To Tell People They Sound Racist

2008-08-15T12:45:00.000-07:00

Please watch How To Tell People They Sound Racist - a brilliant July 21, 2008 podcast by Jay Smooth, host of WBAI's The Underground Railroad in New York City. He is a blogger at hiphopmusic.com and the creator of the video podcast ill Doctrine.

Thanks to Bil Browning at The Bilerico Project for posting it there. I totally agree with what he wrote:

This has to be one of the smartest videos I've seen on YouTube. Not only does he give good, practical advice, but it's entertaining too.

Newsweek, Take a Hike

2008-07-26T13:00:00.000-07:00

The recent Newsweek cover story about the murder of Lawrence King is outrageous. Apparently the article’s author, Ramin Setoodeh, never got the “gender identity and expression aren’t always the same as sexual orientation” memo. (This indicates that Setoodeh managed to avoid any and all up-to-date queer, gender literature in researching this piece.) Setoodeh seems to have written the article in large part to indict and cast scrutiny upon Lawrence King’s gendered behavior: “[King] thought nothing of chasing the boys around the school in [high heels], teetering as he ran… Larry King was… a troubled child who flaunted his sexuality and wielded it like a weapon.”

Who knew that a single middle school student, and the victim of a murderous hate crime, had such power to shake the foundations of society? Setoodeh’s words carry an edge of paranoid fear that I’ve heard all too many times before; he sounds like so many men, straight and gay alike, who fabricate a (nonexistent) image of the terrifyingly feminine “male” in order to justify violence against male-designated, gender non-conforming individuals (particularly trans women). How many female-designated individuals in King’s middle school chase boys around and “teeter” in heels, wielding their sexualities “like a weapon”? Setoodeh doesn’t mention this, but apparently he doesn’t find that relevant in conversations about the “performance” of femininity. (If only Setoodeh could have seen the way I teetered the few times I was forced to wear heels in middle school, he might reassess his overly simplistic notion of authenticity.)

Blaming a fifteen-year-old’s femininity and flamboyance for his/her death does not encourage dialogue and prevent violent, transphobic hate crimes in schools. Setoodeh seems puzzled by the discrepancy between King’s death and his own observation of increased tolerance of gay people in the United States. He writes “California’s Supreme Court has just legalized gay marriage. There are gay characters on popular TV shows such as ‘Gossip Girl’ and ‘Ugly Betty,’ and no one seems to notice. Kids like Larry are so comfortable with the concept of being openly gay that they are coming out younger and younger.” Where does Setoodeh get his definition of “comfort”? And to whom is he referring when he says that “no one seems to notice” mainstream representations of gay people? Who knows.

Unfortunately, what “no one seems to notice” are the numerous murders of trans and gender variant people, particularly people of color, that have occurred in the past few months in the United States. In his rush to sugar-coat news and media representations of “gay people” – which, when examined closely, reveal themselves to be archetypes and caricatures of what straight people think gay people should look like - Setoodeh clearly missed those, too. Young people such as King are not the only gender non-conforming victims of violent crimes. Just two weeks ago, on July 17th, a trans woman named Angie Zapata was murdered in Denver. Sanesha Stewart, a trans woman who lived in the Bronx, was stabbed to death just a few months ago. The list of recent tragedies continues. (For more information, read the article “Queer, Dead, and Nobody Cares” at http://www.theroot.com/id/44971).

What many people, Setoodeh included, haven’t observed is that increasing acceptance of “gay people” does not necessarily mean that anyone, adult or child, is becoming more aware of gender variance. Many self-identified gay individuals harbor intense and violent transphobia, as exemplified by transphobic gay and lesbian individuals like Janice Raymond and Jim Fouratt and the trans-exclusionary policies and sentiments that persist at many “women’s” events like the Michigan Women’s Music Festival.

Well-funded gay rights organizations routinely and unapologetically abandon transgender people. The HRC recently refused to include “gender identity and expression” in its nationwide push to protect LGBT people from employment discrimination. As justification for this omission, the HRC claimed that many unspecified “people” in the United States aren’t ready to respect transgender people’s rights, and therefore it’s better for the HRC not to advocate for them, either.

Suffice it to say, transphobia is prevalent in some gay and lesbian communities, and there’s a history to that. Since the 1950’s, and possibly earlier, gender non-conforming people have been denied seats at LGBT rights tables. The reason? Our supposed failure to assimilate to mainstream norms threatens the ability of wealthier, mostly white, college educated, gays and lesbians to access all of the resources they wanted for themselves. The Newsweek article applies that same, deeply hypocritical “logic” to label Lawrence King “troubled” and his behavior “harmful.”

Are schools prepared to tackle the topics of gender variance and trans-awareness? Unfortunately, most schools are as far behind in confronting gender variance as Setoodeh is. At my school, several colleagues and myself are trying to push for more dialogue around gender and gender expression; but it’s challenging when I can’t even share an article about King’s death with my students without being admonished by administrators and fellow teachers because they claim the topic is “too mature” for twelve-year-olds. I will say this much, though: A Newsweek article blaming a fifteen-year-old for his own death when trans and gender variant people across the nation (particularly trans people of color) are being killed left and right does not do a damn thing to help.

PFOX Statement On LGBT Youth Suicide

2008-07-24T14:52:00.000-07:00

Portland, OR (July 19, 2008) -

TransActive works closely with children, youth and their families as well as with organizations such as GLSEN and the GSA Network to provide education and resources that will help overcome the ignorance, prejudice, harassment and violence directed at children and youth who may be, to one degree or another, gender non-conforming. This discrimination and bullying affects all youth, regardless of their sexual orientation or their gender identity.

As part of our advocacy and education goals, we make every effort to respond to misinformation disseminated by individuals and organizations opposed to equality, respect and supportive care for gender non-conforming children and youth.

On Friday, July 18th, 2008 LifeSiteNews.com, an ideological Judeo-Christian news distribution service, published the contents of a press release from the organization Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays & Gays (PFOX). In their preface to the PFOX statement, LifeSiteNews.com referred to “a recent study” that PFOX claims links an increased risk of suicide with young people who identify themselves as gay or transgender before achieving full maturity. They go on to imply that Gay/Straight Alliances (GSA’s), which they refer to as ‘homosexual clubs”, bear some degree of responsibility for this increased risk of suicide by “encouraging” young people to self-identify as gay, bisexual or transgender.

The “recent study” was actually a June 1991 article that appeared in the Official Journal of the American Academy of Pediatrics, vol. 87, pp. 869-875. It was written by Gary Remafedi MD, James A. Farrow MD, and Robert W. Deisher MD.

Their sense of what qualifies as recent/breaking news, while disturbing from a journalistic perspective, may be an accurate indicator of where they are at in their thinking. About two decades behind the rest of us.

In the PFOX press release, PFOX Executive Director Regina Griggs references a recent article in the Washington Post about a 15-year old gender non-conforming youth and how Gay/Straight Alliances help teens such as him deal with discrimination and bullying in high and middle school.

"What the article failed to describe," said Griggs, "is the danger of young sexually confused teens self-identifying as gays at an early age. Research has shown that the risk of suicide decreases by 20% each year that a person delays homosexual or bisexual self-labeling. Early self-identification is dangerous to kids.”

The research referred to by Griggs is that “recent study” discussed above. While we strongly disagree with Ms. Griggs characterization of LGBT youth as ‘sexually confused”, we will set that aside for the moment in order to address her misguided interpretation about what the 1991 study by Dr’s. Remafedi, Farrow and Deisher indicated. In fact, the position stated by PFOX appears to be simply a regurgitation of a statement from James Dobson’s group, Focus On The Family earlier this year.

The following letter was sent by Dr. Gary Remafedi to James Dobson and Focus On The Family in May, 2008. This information originally appeared in an article written by Andy Birkey for the Minnesota Monitor (www.minnesotamonitor.com).

"I want to draw your attention to a gross misrepresentation of our research at the website of Focus on the Family," wrote Remafedi. A section of the site called "Myths and Facts" makes the assertion that sexual orientation is easily swayed in adolescence and that "homosexual activist groups" and a culture supportive of gay marriage can influence teens to become gay.

Dr. Remafedi says his research doesn't say anything to that effect. In fact, he wonders if James Dobson [or PFOX/LifeSiteNews.com] even read his research.

"Had the authors of 'Myths and Facts' actually read the article, they would have found no support for their contention that 'many children experience a period of sexual-identity confusion when they can be influenced in either direction," wrote Remafedi. "The word 'confusion' does not appear in our article; nor did we find that anyone can influence a young person's sexual identity."
“The purpose of our study was to explore patterns of sexual orientation in a representative sample of more than 34,000 Minnesota students in grades 7 to 12. We found that the percentage of students who reported being "unsure" about their orientation steadily declined with age from 25.9% in 12-year-old persons to 5% in 18 year-old students (p. 716). Youth who were "unsure" were more likely than others to entertain homosexual fantasies and attractions and less likely to have had heterosexual experiences (p. 720). These and other data suggested that uncertainty about sexual orientation "gradually gives way to heterosexual or homosexual identification with the passage of time and/or with increasing sexual experience" (p. 720).”

Gary Remafedi,
M.D., M.P.H.
Professor, Department of Pediatrics
University of
Minnesota

Remafedi also sent his letter to Wayne Besen of Truth Wins Out, a watchdog group that monitors instances where research is used erroneously against gays and lesbians.

"Focus on the Family has engaged in a disturbing pattern of misrepresenting the work of legitimate researchers to further their anti-gay agenda," Besen said in a press release.

In the PFOX statement Griggs said, “"Schools should not be encouraging teens to self-identify as gays, bisexuals or transgendered persons… sexual attractions are fluid and do not take on permanence until early adulthood.”

We suggest to Ms. Griggs that unless she is referring a group of gay or queer youth, gay is not plural, nor is bisexual. And the word is “transgender”… no one has ever been ‘transgendered” - No more than anyone has been “straighted” or “Democrated”. It is not something that is done to someone, thereafter rendering them ‘transgendered’.

It should be pointed out that sexual attraction (and gender expression) is indeed fluid throughout adolescence and adulthood. There is no permanence achieved at some arbitrary point in one’s life. To imply otherwise flies not only in the face of accurately reported research, it perpetuates destructive stereotypes that can damage one’s self-esteem.

Ms. Griggs says, “Rather than affirming teenagers as 'gay' through self-labeling, educators should affirm them as people worthy of respect… to wait until adulthood before making choices about their sexuality. If teens are encouraged to believe that they are permanently 'gay' before they have had a chance to reach adulthood, their life choices are severely restricted and can result in depression."

We agree wholeheartedly with her opinion that educators (and others) should affirm teenagers and pre-adolescents as “people worthy of respect”. We hope to see PFOX, Focus On The Family, the Traditional Values Coalition and others take Regina Griggs plea to heart.

Neither sexual orientation or gender identity are choices that children or youth make. They are who they are. If there is a choice to be made, it is ours in that we can choose to nurture, support and, as Ms. Griggs stated, respect who these children and youth are, rather than harass and oppress them into becoming what some might ‘wish’ them to be. If we as a culture and society do that, then we can remove many of the restrictions and causes of depression alluded to in the PFOX statement.

Griggs also notes that, "GSA clubs and their teacher sponsors make schools unsafe for anyone who has rejected the 'gay' label in their lives or who believes in ex-gay equal rights. Former homosexuals and their supporters should have the same kind of access to public schools that GSA clubs currently enjoy."

Couldn’t that sentence also accurately be stated as “Heterosexuals and their supporters should have the same kind of access to public schools that GSA clubs currently enjoy”? And if so stated, isn’t the question itself ridiculous? The last time we checked, heterosexual and gender conforming children and youth (and their supporters) pretty much have free reign within our public schools. There is no discrimination (overt or covert) against straight/gender conforming children and youth in school activities, including sports, arts, academics, chess clubs, journalism or other events.

It prompts the question; is there something about the ex-gay lifestyle that we are missing? Do ex-gays get together and reminisce about the days when they were still gay? Do they compare notes on how much less discriminated against and victimized by bullying and violence they are now compared to when they were still gay? Do they critique each other on their gender conformity, or lack thereof?

Perhaps they talk about how difficult it is to keep up the pretense of being something they’re not, simply because they’ve been shamed, oppressed and coerced into believing there is something wrong with them? Maybe they discuss how they continue to get teased, bullied and harassed because others who don't know of or fully appreciate their ex-gayness still perceive them as overly feminine if male or masculine if female? If so, then we most definitely want to reach out to them compassionately and respectfully. If they are interested getting out of the destructive ex-gay lifestyle, they can contact PFLAG at www.pflag.org. Gender non-conforming youth can find support and acceptance by contacting us at www.transactiveonline.org. For trans adults, there is the PFLAG-Transgender Network.

PFOX reports that an organization called the National Education Association Ex-Gay Educators Caucus (NEAEGEC) recommends diversity and inclusion of the ex-gay viewpoint in public schools. There is absolutely no mention of such a caucus on the NEA’s official website. In doing a Google search for the organization, TransActive staff was successful in finding only 6 entries referencing such an organization.

1. www.LifeSiteNews.com: (This article)

2. www.WDCmedia.com: (A 2006 article on this evangelical news website accusing the National Education Association of pushing the “homosexual agenda”. They quote the former chair of the NEAEGEC, Jeralee Smith. (As far as we can tell, Ms. Smith is the former chair and only member of the NEAEGEC.

3. www.CWFA.org: This is the website for the Concerned Women For America, an organization which states as one of their goals “to bring Biblical principals into all levels of public policy.” The NEAEGEC is referenced in a letter as having published a piece of so-called “balanced literature” entitled “Respect and The Facts”. In following the link at www.nea-exgay.org to download the literature, I was taken to Dr. Warren Throckmorton’s website. Dr. Throckmorton is a well-known advocate of therapy designed to change the sexual orientation or gender non-conforming identity of children and youth. If you click on the link to this literature at his website, you are taken to another site which promotes a variety of health and medical related products…none of which are “Respect and The Facts”.

4. www.earstohear.net: This personal website describes itself as a “Christian & American Heritage Resource”. This link quotes former NEAEGEC chair and member Jeralee Smith as accusing the NEA of engaging in a “big misinformation campaign”.

5. www.sanduskyregister.com: The lone reference to the NEAEGEC here comes in a reader response to a March, 2008 article by Amanda Godfrey in the Sandusky (Ohio) Register.

6. http://exodus.blogs.com: This is the site for Exodus International, an organization that claims to be able to “lead” people out of the “gay lifestyle”.

We encourage all organizations dedicated to improving the lives of transgender and gender non-conforming children and youth to challenge these purveyors of misinformation, misrepresentation, obfuscation and outright lies with the facts wherever and whenever possible. Our children are depending on us to protect them from those who would perpetuate intolerance, fear, religious bigotry and misogyny. If we remain silent in the face of opposition, then the voices of our children and youth may never be heard.

Peace & Unity,

Jenn Burleton
Executive Director
TransActive Education & Advocacy

# # #

Mission Statement
TransActive Education & Advocacy (TEA) provides education & advocacy services in support of families of gender non-conforming children and youth, and the child’s right to freely express their true gender identity.

For general information, please contact us: transeducate@gmail.com

TransActive is a non-profit educational and advocacy organization. While we depend on service, speaking and presentation fees as well as the financial support of our allies, TransActive will not turn down family support, educational or advocacy opportunities due to lack of ability to pay.

Newsweek Gets It Backwards

2008-07-22T15:50:00.000-07:00

Newsweek's cover story this month is entitled "Young, Gay and Murdered: Kids are coming out younger, but are schools ready to handle the complex issues of identity and sexuality? For Larry King, the question had tragic implications." [ http://www.newsweek.com/id/147790/page/1 ]

The reporter, Ramin Setoodeh seems to me to have concluded that it was because Larry came out and because he dressed in a vampy way and directed sexual and romantic comments toward boys at school that he was gossiped about, harassed and finally murdered. I would question the chronology. I am totally skeptical about the assumption that his behavior led to the other boys' hostility rather than their hostility fueling his behavior. Because it’s the latter that I have seen so often. A little kid starts out gender variant by nature, even in pre-kindergarten. But often subtly so. Then other kids' discomfort and grown-ups' refusal to address their discomfort or teach about stereotypes leads to their excluding that child from play and refusing to sit with the child at lunch. The teachers continue to hope the problem will go away.

In each grade, the class' meanness grows and teachers still don't talk with them about gender as a continuum rather than a binary concept. They don't even bring up female athletes or male dancers. In each grade, the targeted child tries new strategies to manage the hurt. One year, they will hardly talk at all. Another year, they'll talk nonstop. Often, eventually, they will become defiant and exaggerate what comes naturally: a gender expression others find discomfiting. Their peers' meanness -- and adults' refusal to address it in meaningful ways -- often accompanied by isolation from healthy well-adjusted LGBTQ role models -- precipitates the targeted child's using bitter humor and dramatic flair as a defense. And sometimes that works. Once you are clearly not trying to hide your sexual orientation or gender identity or whatever about you is different, it sometimes makes calling you "gay" anti-climactic and gets kids off your back. Sometimes, it doesn’t work. It didn't work, in the end, for Larry.

Know that I am not saying that transgender youth are necessarily exaggerating anything. I have no idea if Larry would have eventually identified as trans or not. I just imagine that, in time, Larry's spike heels and glitter might have given way to more garden-variety femininity or andogyny. If it hadn't, so what?

The point is that Setoodeh infers from his interviews, especially with Brandon's father, that the way to protect Brandon would have been to change Larry's behavior. But liking someone and wanting them to like you back is not a crime. Middle school is the time when most kids get crushes and tell friends. It doesn't sound to me as if Larry's behavior had risen to the level of stalking at all. If it did, then why haven't all the girls on that pre-Valentine outdoor quad been charged with stalking? Their behavior and Larry's appear to have been the same.

Maybe, rather than changing Larry's behavior, the most effective way to protect Brandon would have been to help him see someone's flirting -- even another boy's -- as flattering instead of insulting. We let homophobia and transphobia go unchallenged all the time and then we seem shocked when a young person becomes enraged at the thought that his peers might think he was gay. We let Brandon down not by failing to prohibit Larry from saying he liked him. We let Brandon down by letting him grow up believing that who Larry was (and who he would be by extension if he liked Larry back) was the worst thing a person could be.

And we let Larry down by letting his whole school grow up hating his difference and making his life there hellish. His femininity and his getting a crush didn't lead to his murder. Brandon's soul-searing transphobia and homophobia did. And adults' behavior, in turn, led to that.

Civil Unions? Yes, Please!

2008-07-14T20:48:00.000-07:00

The past few weeks have brought some good news for queer parents. According to a July 5th editorial in the Washington Post, the federal Office of Legal Counsel recently ruled that the child of a same-sex couple could receive child’s insurance benefits due to one of his mother’s Social Security Disability benefits.

Two women – whom the Post referred to as Monique and Karen - received a civil union when they first moved to Vermont with their son Elijah in 2002. According to the editorial, that civil union ensured that Karen legally qualified as a “parent” to Elijah despite the fact that she is not his biological mother. When Karen started receiving Social Security Disability benefits and stopped working, she requested that Elijah receive Social Security child’s insurance benefits as compensation for the loss of family income – and the Office of Legal Counsel (OLC) determined that the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) does not prohibit such benefits. The Post editorial quotes Deputy Steven A. Engel of the OLC as writing that “Although DOMA limits the definition of ‘marriage’ and ‘spouse’ for the purposes of federal law, the Social Security Act does not condition eligibility for [child insurance benefits] on the existence of a marriage or on the federal rights of the spouse in the circumstances in this case.”

The most important factor, it seems, is that the law in Vermont recognizes the minor (Elijah) as the child of the adult in question (Karen). Deputy Elder and the OLC imply that the decision in this case had little or nothing to do with Karen’s status in a same-sex partnership, and that Karen’s right to confer her Social Security benefits to Elijah is contingent on the state of Vermont’s recognition of Karen as a legal parent to Elijah. However, Karen’s status as a “legal parent” appears to be irrevocably intertwined with her status in a legally recognized partnership.

The ability of a non-biological parent in the United States to attain the legal status of “parent” is inconsistent and dependent on a variety of factors: access to resources, race, gender identity, sexual orientation, location, income, among others. Had Karen and Monique not had the opportunity to receive a civil union and procure that legal recognition of their relationship, would Karen have legally qualified as Elijah’s parent? I’m not sure anyone could say for certain.

While civil unions do not directly help single parents, they have shown – in the case of Vermont, for example – to ensure rights that can be extremely valuable to a wide array of LGBTQ people. There are many issues facing LGBTQ people that will not be solved via civil unions, and there are serious limitations to how effective nationwide civil unions would be; however, a case like this one in Vermont could be seen as a step in the direction of accounting for the needs of LGBTQ couples and parents who receive benefits from the government. The OLC’s decision to uphold the right of non-biological parents to confer benefits to their children could be important for many queer and non-queer people alike. It could register as particularly significant for transgender people who are, in many states, essentially required to seriously impede – or even eliminate – our ability to biologically reproduce before we can be recognized as our desired gender.

Legal relationship recognition is not purely symbolic, as many “HRC gays” obsessed with the institution of marriage would have us believe. It’s not even necessarily about the legal rights conferred to spouses, though that is clearly one potential positive attribute. For people who live off the government, it can be about having the right to provide for, take care of, and have children. Queer and trans activists can build off Monique’s, Karen’s, and Elijah’s victory and focus on the significance not of marriage, but of the economic benefits for adults and children that can accompany legal recognition of LGBTQ parents and their relationships.

If this nation isn’t “ready” to acknowledge LGBTQ individuals’ right to get married, why not push for civil unions that would open economic doors for LGBTQ people to be recognized as parents and take care of our children? Many queers and trans people have criticized Barack Obama for his views on “gay marriage”, for example, but I think Obama is correct in focusing on the economic inequalities underpinning legal recognition of couples in this country instead of getting wrapped up in the hype around the religious institution of marriage. I’d take a civil union any day – and, it seems, so would my children.

'And Daddy Makes Three' is delightful.

2008-07-08T09:54:00.000-07:00

On This American Life, Chicago's Public Radio, available online through their free podcast and heard on more than 500 public radio stations around the USA and seen as a television show on Showtime.

And Daddy Makes Three

Six-year-old DJ has two dads, Dan Savage and Terry Miller. DJ is being raised by two gay men, but he has a preschooler's understanding of what gay means. Which is to say, he doesn't understand it at all. Though he does oppose gay marriage. Dan, the author of the syndicated column and book Savage Love, tells the story. His latest book is Skipping Towards Gomorrah: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Pursuit of Happiness in America.

Listen to this American Life Episode 293: A Little Bit of Knowledge which originally aired 07.22.2005.

Click on 'Full Episode' to listen online. Act Two: 'And Daddy Makes Three' is 11 minutes long and starts at 18:02 of this podcast. There are several places where music might make you think it is over. Be sure to listen to the whole.

3 Simple Rules for Politicians (and others too!)

2008-07-04T11:56:00.000-07:00

The Safe Schools Coalition doesn't endorse political candidates because of our 501(c)(3) status, but we do talk to them and educate on the issues that concern us because of our mission statement and the work we do.

I found an excellent article I wanted to share:

I've been around a lot of politicians in my day. Whether City Councilors, County officials, state legislators or Congress members, there are some basic rules that transcend the status of the office when it comes to gay rights.

After spending time at the Indiana Democratic State Convention last weekend hobnobbing with our state's queer-friendly politicos, one thing became crystal clear: More and more politicians are willing to reach out to LGBT voters, but they have no idea what to say.

I thought I'd start an official list of suggestions for politicians on how to interact with our community. Maybe if I offer some assistance more politicians can get a quick grasp of the basics.

Rule #1 - Acknowledge Your Audience

Last weekend's convention really put this first rule squarely in the forefront of my mind. Several politicians stopped by - from the candidates for Governor and Lt. Governor to a local City-County Councilor. Some made a good first impression; others didn't.

Why? Several speakers didn't even bother to use any of the following words:
Gay
Lesbian
Bisexual
Transgender
Diversity
Sexual orientation
Or any acronym like LGBT, GLBT, etc
If you are willing to step into a room and ask for our vote, at least have the common courtesy to acknowledge the tie that binds. When a politician speaks in generic code words like "civil rights" or "equality" without so much as mentioning who should be equal, it's just insulting. It shows us that you don't really care about us so much as you care about our votes.

While LGBT rights aren't the only topic our community thinks is important, it is the elephant in the room.

... and ...

Rule #3 - Know the Lingo

Nothing will turn off queer voters more than using rightwing talking points in front of a liberal audience or in the media. When speaking to an LGBT group avoid words like:

Sexual preference
One man and one woman
Lifestyle choice
Family values
Gay marriage
Let's use an example. Polly Politician doesn't think gays and lesbians should be able to get married, but supports civil unions. She is perfect on every other issue. When asked the question, "Do you support gay marriage?" should Polly answer:
I think marriage is between a man and a woman.
I think marriage is a state's rights issue. Each state should decide on their own.
I believe gays and lesbians are entitled to the same benefits and privileges. I know we still have some disagreements over wording, but surely we can work those out as we tackle other problems together.
Which do you think makes the best impression?

While this was written with politicians in mind, these are good rules for others to follow as well - such as teachers, administrators, staff and others who want to be known as allies.

I recommend reading the whole article: 3 Simple Rules for Politicians
Filed by: Bil Browning - The Bilerico Project - June 26, 2008

Educators' Never-Ending Process of Reflection

2008-07-03T14:01:00.001-07:00

Last week, I had a conversation with a middle school student who attends a relatively wealthy public school in New England. She related a story to me about a teacher at her school whom she characterizes as "funny" because of the easygoing and sarcastic tone he takes with his students. A few weeks earlier, a boy in this student's class had made fun of her notebook because she had sketched dresses all over the cover. The teacher had responded to the boy by teasing him "Well, I bet you'd look really good in that dress, Adam." Though her teacher resorted to a transphobic joke that reinforced stereotypical gender norms, the student with whom I was speaking considered it not a non-offensive, well-intentioned effort on the part of the teacher to defend one of his students from harassment.

My immediate response is to think: For every teacher who assumes that no middle-school-aged "boy" would want to wear a dress, there is a student sitting silently in the corner of the room who gets the message that what she/he wants is ridiculous. This scenario works itself out in many ways in classrooms. My conversation with this student connected to my recent thought processes about assumptions teachers often make about students, and the many limitations of our perspectives as educators.

Last week I breezed through a young adult novel called Keeping You a Secret, which, in combination with my week spent around people who do not yet know about my transition, reminded me of how exhausting and devastating it can be to withhold information about one's identity on a daily basis. Keeping You a Secret is a compelling description of the coming-out process of a high school lesbian that captures how emotionally and psychologically taxing it can be to stay silent about an aspect of oneself. The book avoids being a purely "tragic queer" novel while still tackling the many issues encountered by young, queer people who often rely very heavily on the support offered by their families and people in their schools.

Gender- and sexuality-proscriptive interactions among teachers and students, such as the one that the middle school student told me about last week, happen all the time in public schools. I imagine most teachers often don't even realize the weight our words can carry in these conversations. As an educator, I'm learning that it is crucial to keep in mind that I don't really know what's going on in students' minds or lives. It is my professional obligation to try to avoid making assumptions about what students may or may not be going through, because it is very possible that nobody knows except for they themselves. Anything I say and do as an educator could affect my students, whether I realize it or not – so, no matter what my intentions are as a social-justice-minded or radical educator, it is my responsibility to continually examine my own assumptions and internal biases to ensure that I am not unknowingly taking them out on any of my students.

Along this line of thought, I've recently started to re-evaluate some of my own negative assumptions about straight male sexualities and the ways my personal biases could potentially have the effect of "closing down" conversation and discussion in my classroom. This reflection process was sparked by an incident last week when I saw several teachers at my school separate two eighth grade students, a boy and a girl, who were kissing during our semi-annual trip to Prospect Park in Brooklyn. The act unsettled me with its undertone of sexual policing, and I found the "white teachers, Black students" racial dynamic of the interaction deeply problematic.

This prompted me to think about my positioning in my classroom, as a white Yale graduate teaching mostly students of color in a Title I school. If I exude discomfort with or disdain for straight male sexualities, even without intending to, what effects could that have on dialogue in my classroom? For a specific example, what effects could that have on discourse about oppression and the many stereotypes and stigmas confronted by straight men of color?

While many LGBT people and LGBT youth face challenges that many straight individuals do not (which is a questionable generalization), the last thing I want to do as an aspiring social justice educator is shut down avenues of conversation and intellectual thought about the challenges and pressures my students – straight or gay, male or female or trans - face. I'm only just beginning to understand that to open dialogue in a radical way and encourage critical thought in my classroom, I must constantly reassess the limits of my own perspectives about sexuality, gender, and the many facets of my students' identities.

Transitioning on the Job: Part One

2008-06-23T20:04:00.000-07:00

This past week, I made the decision to begin identifying as male. The decision to be male-identified and start hormone therapy hasn’t been a sudden one for me, but it’s been building for the past several years. Anyone who has known me over the past few years is probably not particularly surprised. I’m harboring relatively few serious concerns about this transition, mostly out of awareness that I have an incredibly trans-aware and trans-identified group of friends and that my girlfriend is the most supportive person in the world. Opening this door makes me feel as though a huge weight has been lifted off my chest, and I’m very excited to be undertaking this process.

This past week, however, I began to worry about returning to my school in the fall as “Mr. K” and going by male pronouns. Ultimately, my school is not a bad place to be a transsexual, especially relative to many public schools I’ve heard about. “Gender identity and expression” are protected in the employment non-discrimination laws of New York City. I have a vocal and strong support base among my colleagues, several of whom are queer-identified. I’ve begun conversations about how best to handle my transition with a few colleagues for whom I have tremendous respect as educators and as individuals. Two colleagues have offered to accompany me in my “I’m becoming a man” meeting with my principal. After communication has been established with administrators, we’re hoping that Respect for All can eventually direct conversation towards the general school climate with respect to LGBT awareness. My transition is simply one of several examples illustrating the need for education and dialogue around LGBT issues in our school.

Though these factors clearly fuel a great deal of optimism and hopefulness, I’m beginning to feel the onset of a few anxieties that are, perhaps, inevitable in this situation. These anxieties have to do with the increased scrutiny and potential threats to my job security brought on by such an unavoidably public and visible transition (two thirds of the school next year will have known me as “Ms. K”). I’m not particularly concerned about what the many members of what I call the “frat boys club” and the “old boys club” at my school personally think and feel about trans issues. It seems like a given that some of my colleagues will believe that they have never met a transsexual before, and that I might be a story they tell their buddies at happy hour. Their potential to incite suspicion about me and my teaching as a result of my identity seems like a more pressing matter – and in my mind, it has everything to do with the obligation of teachers to demonstrate basic respect for others’ identities on a daily basis.

Education and professional development around trans identities and the rights of trans people are crucial in ensuring the respect and safety of students and employees in our school. The nervous and pessimistic part of me worries that my school will fail to encourage thoughtful conversation about and inquiry into LGBT issues, and will instead pretend that they do not have a tremendous affect on the daily lives of many of our students, faculty, and staff. Students in our school are coming out or on the verge of coming out as LGBT, teachers and staff in the school are LGBT identified, and many people in the building have family members, friends, and neighbors who are queer or trans. The encouragement of respectful, thoughtful conversation about LGBT issues must become inextricably linked to professionalism for teachers in our school – and I’m worried that a core group of my colleagues will attempt to prevent this from happening.

I hate to border on paranoid, but my teaching career began with an unpleasantly transphobic experience with the Department of Education that has left a lasting impression. I was slated to begin my first year of teaching at a middle school in Brooklyn in the fall of 2006, and the day before I was to report I received a phone call informing me that a) I had been “excessed” and therefore had to start the search for a new job and b) there was a rumor circulating around the district of my original school that I was going to have a “sex change operation.” I knew that it was no coincidence that I heard about these two facts in the same conversation, and I set out to get to the root of my being excessed. When I approached the principal of my original school, he offered me a position teaching science in a clear attempt to cover his ass. Needless to say, instead of expressing gratefulness about the scraps he tossed me, I decided to take my chances in the job search. In what I still consider to be a stroke of luck, I landed at my current school.

This first experience with the Department of Education and trans issues makes me a bit hesitant to trust that my administration will not seek to find ways either to excess me or to dismiss this transition in a way that allows my colleagues – and as a result, my students – to disrespect my identity and the identities of any gender variant people in the school. All it takes is one teacher, or one parent of one student, to spark controversy and confrontation. I incorporate many radical and queer pedagogical methods into my classroom, and I believe in opening discourse to push students intellectually instead of closing it down. In the back of my mind, I fear that the aspects of my teaching that have led me to invite students to learn about and discuss the deaths of Lawrence King and Sean Bell, for examples, might quickly become suspicious in an atmopshere of heightened scrutiny.

I know several trans teachers, but right now I’m searching for educators who have had a similar experience of transitioning while at their schools - if you know of anyone, kindly send them my way.

"It's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve"

2008-06-19T20:53:00.000-07:00

The countdown to the last day of school on June 26th feels excruciating right now. Last week, students went on field trips and made art as part of a school-wide Integrated Projects Week, and now it’s back to a week and a half in their regular classrooms. Their rampant "summer fever" and overheated classrooms with no air conditioning make a potentially explosive combination.

To end the year as smoothly as possible, I've decided to incorporate some random, fun writing exercises into everyday lessons. Yesterday I gave students the prompt: "If you could change any historical event, what would you change? Why, and how, would you change it? How would that have affected the course of history?" Most of my students responded enthusiastically to this prompt, writing pages and pages of creative and thoughtful reflections on significant moments in history. Chosen events included, among others: September 11th, the day Martin Luther King, Jr. was assassinated, and the day laser pointers were banned from schools.

In my morning class yesterday, students’ share-out time was productive and pleasant, until we came to a student who did not answer the question provided by the prompt. He gave me a big smile and stated loudly "I wrote about gay marriage, and how it's like my mom has said, God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve."

For some background, this student has become an increasingly negative presence in his class as the year has progressed. Though he is an excellent reader, his writing abilities lag behind, and he adamantly refuses to do most classwork and homework. Even more frustratingly, he often distracts other students who are not as strong in reading as he is by making fun of them or staring at them to try to make them uncomfortable (as several of the girls in the class have mentioned to me). At the same time, I would call him one of the most intellectually advanced students I teach. He critiques power dynamics in a remarkably sophisticated way for a twelve-year-old. When he respects his own intelligence, his impulses to challenge ideas and authority are - in my opinion - admirable.

In class yesterday, however, his "gay marriage" statement was neither nuanced nor well-thought-out. It was abundantly clear that he said it in order to get a rise out of me (because I have been on his case recently) and to impress the class by proclaiming his disdain for gay marriage in front of an openly queer teacher. Fortunately, the rest of the class did not indulge him but generally ignored his comment. I calmly asked him: "So, what is your answer to the question? What would you change?" Not expecting this, he fumbled for a response and ultimately conceded "I don't know."

In my afternoon class, one student shared writing that began “If I could change one thing, I would kill George W. Bush before he got elected.” He continued to state that “Bush is a gay, mean, horrible, awful, old man.” This particular student was trying to capitalize on shock value, but not with his use of the word "gay" - he provided graphic descriptions of how the president’s privates should be cut off. That’s where I stopped him, in the middle of his sharing, to remind everybody that gratuitous violence is neither acceptable nor intellectually useful in my classroom.

This student made some very legitimate points about George W. Bush, though he was problematically using vocabulary of violence and homophobia to get these points across. When students returned to their seats to read independently after the sharing out time, I called the student up to my desk to discuss what had happened and why I had asked him to stop. The one-on-one conversation worked wonders. I explained that I had been confused when he used the word “gay” as a synonym for “horrible” or “George W. Bush,” which does not correlate with my understanding of what it means to be “gay”. The student happily engaged with me in a context removed from peer pressures and being put on the spot, stating that he had not meant any personal insult to me. He ultimately recognized that he could have used the breadth of his vocabulary to build his case against George W. Bush without resorting to homophobia or excessive violence to convey his passion.

I think I’m inclined to be too hard on myself about yesterday’s flare-up of LGBT-related negativity in my classroom. Ultimately, though, I step back and use my responses to yesterday’s moments as a watermark indicating how much I've grown as an educator over the past two years. To give myself some credit, my reaction in both situations sent the important message that blatant homophobia or derogatory uses of the word "gay" will not go unchallenged or unaddressed in my classroom. At the same time, I was opening conversation and inviting opinions, rather than shutting intellectual doors. The simultaneity of those two actions is absolutely crucial in a public middle school.

I continue to aspire to be the kind of teacher who can successfully navigate such challenging moments on a consistent basis. I can never entirely control or predict what will occur in the space of my classroom – nor would I want to. Taking this fact into consideration, my reactions to students' thoughts and my encouragement of them to be self-reflective become an instrumental aspect of my queer and radical pedagogy.

This is not what bravery looks like.

2008-06-14T21:48:00.000-07:00

A teacher colleague (and friend) wrote me today about what he called my “courage” for “standing up, being visible, saying the truth, taking risks, being a leader, teaching teachers and policy makers, changing the climate …”

I have to say: This is not what bravery looks like. I appreciate the compliment from the bottom of my heart, but this is not bravery. Robert Anthony once said, “Courage is simply the willingness to be afraid and act anyway." I have rarely been afraid. Because, unlike teachers, I flit into schools as a guest speaker, and the institution has less power over me. And because I happen to work for a city and county and public health department that have always had my back. The voters in this place and the honorable people they elect passed ordinances prohibiting discrimination based on sexual orientation decades ago. And my supervisors and their supervisors have always stood up for the need to protect the health and well-being of the lesbian, gay, bisexual, gender variant and transgender youth and families of King County.

Courage would be working to end homophobia and racism under threat of losing my job or, God forbid, my spouse and children. I have never faced those threats. Teachers all over the country do that every day.

Courage would be working to end homophobia and racism even as people were repeatedly stealing your identity and cyberharassing you … as happened to this teacher friend twice this year. Students set up false web pages purporting to be him and containing lies about him. Twice. Courage is remaining in the profession and continuing to teach social justice, even as the student "contributors" to those fake sites go unpunsihed.

Courage would be working to end homophobia and racism even as graffiti about you continues to shout from the walls of the restrooms, and the school refuses for weeks to paint over it. That’s what my colleague Kyle did this year, his senior year in high school. He, too, was cyberbullied and received death threats to his face and online. Courage is to keep going to school every day and even continuing to insist that the school stand up for your friends in the gay-straight alliance, knowing that you will graduate and be gone.

Courage would be having a teacher keep mocking the way you speak, as has been happening to my grandson this year in high school, and still going to class and trying to pass! He tells me he hears the N-word all the time at school and teachers don’t intervene. Being an African-American kid in a mostly Caucasian school for the first time in his life is taking a toll on him this year. And yet, he goes back every day. That’s courage.

I think that those of us who don’t work in schools sometimes forget just how fragile the safety of teachers and students really is. Or we think it must be better in 2008. Or we imagine that we would have courage like that of Martin Luther King and be willing to die and leave our spouse a widow and single parent for our principles.

It’s easy to be glib when you lose perspective like that. Earlier this year, I spoke at the Northwest premiere of the film It’s STILL Elementary. I said, almost with disdain, that ten years ago, when the filmmakers were scouring the country looking for teachers and principals willing to be filmed addressing gay issues in schools … I said that nobody in Washington State was brave enough, even if they were addressing sexual diversity, to allow the camera into the classroom. We hunted and couldn’t find a single school. I said it as if it were an indictment, a description of cowardice. I’m ashamed of myself. I apologize.

“Cowardice” is not even remotely a description of a teacher who intervenes in anti-gay or anti-racist bullying and who finds ways to dispel students’ stereotypes and replace them with accurate portrayals of sexually and racially diverse people … and who decides not to risk being allowed to continue that life-saving work by going on camera. I apologize for the implied disrespect.

I promise to keep cognizant of just how scary life is – still in 2008 -- for so many school employees and students.

-- by Beth Reis

LGBT Youth "Success Stories" and The Prom

2008-06-14T18:20:00.001-07:00

Several news stories have recently popped up about LGBT youth fighting for their rights to attend their high school proms. As someone who came of age in a mostly white, mostly middle-class high school, I can understand the challenges queer and trans youth can face in trying to enter the classically heteronormative and gender normative sphere that is The Prom. Teenagers who have stood up for their right to be safe while participating in this school activity, in the face of explicit transphobia and homophobia, have huge potential to inspire and encourage other LGBT youth in similar situations. To this day, I wish I had had an older model of such courage at my high school.

At the same time, part of me responds with skepticism to this media emphasis on queer and trans youth attending proms. This part of me is concerned not with the personal and potential political significance of the act of queers and trans people going to proms, but rather with the allocation of media and political energies. Media hype around prom rights can function to reduce LGBT youth issues and success stories in a similar way that media hype around gay marriage rights can reduce LGBT adult issues and success stories. Is winning gay marriage a valuable political step in terms of federal policy? Quite possibly. Is it the most important and pressing issue facing all LGBT individuals, across the board? No. Was the recent victory over the Scottsdale, Al. school board that attempted to ban two lesbians from attending a high school prom together important? Definitely. Is attending high school proms the most important and pressing issue facing all – or even most - LGBT youth? Absolutely not.

While I think many LGBT groups and individuals do keep this in mind, the reporting on proms that reinforces particular narratives of “success” for trans and queer youth bears examination. The possibility of attending proms only affects youth who attend high school, and continue on with high school once they begin. This depends on numerous factors, many of which are out of a teenager’s control. Among high school students, only those who have the money and resources to purchase the trappings required for a prom (clothes and tickets, for example) and who have living situations (in terms of family/guardianship and location) in which they would be able to attend such school activities are affected by this. Proms are a predominantly middle class issue, and I believe that is important to consider.

I notice an overwhelming absence of “success stories” about queer and trans youth who, for example, experience homelessness and need to do sex work to survive - unless they’ve “cleaned up” according to normative societal standards. There is a tremendous number of LGBT youth successes that are not recognized as such by the general public and by mainstream – or even queer - media. This is disappointing.

The bravery of LGBT students who fight for the right to attend their schools’ proms absolutely must be applauded and appreciated. It is also, however, crucial that we remember that there are many ways to be a successful LGBT youth, in order to avoid invisibilizing the stories of many young people who do not fit these particular narratives. The problems about proms extend beyond whether or not LGBT youth can safely attend them. The implication of even holding a prom, considering the homophobic and transphobic history of the event, warrants discussion. As an educator, one of the most effective ways I can address the valorization of certain LGBT youth narratives over others is to open critical discourse about proms - and what they stand for, and what they do - among my colleagues.

SSC's Kyle Rapinan and Beth Reis quoted in article on Alternet today

2008-06-11T10:46:00.000-07:00

Even with the law on their side, GLBT students still have to struggle to take same-sex partners to prom.

When I was in high school in the mid-'60s, it never occurred to lesbians and gays to go to their proms with a same-sex partner.

... and

I had a long talk with a 17-year-old Seattle lad named Kyle Rapinan. As a kid who was homeless for a few years (he's with a foster family now), who is out in school and who is a leader in his school's Gay-Straight Alliance (GSA), he has been the target of a lot of scary bullying, he told me. This has involved everything from obscenities on the school's bathroom walls to mean and threatening postings on social networking sites like YouTube, MySpace and Facebook.

The cyber brutality has been particularly difficult, as Kyle sees academic achievement as his one route out of a difficult life. He's worried about the impact of all this online junk on his professional life in the future. "Getting bullied," he said, "was really depressing. If it wasn't for the GSA at my school, I'd go crazy."

He took his boyfriend to his prom a couple of weeks ago, despite the harassment.

... and

One of the other prominent national organizations supporting GLBT youth is the Safe Schools Coalition (SCC). Co-chair Beth Reis tells me that SSC has provided intervention specialists to work with individual gay kids who become targets of attacks.

... and

The proms organized especially for gay kids are an essential alternative, Reis believes. "We have an obligation as an adult community to bridge the gap until such time as every high school prom feels totally safe and every same-sex date situation there seems totally unremarkable."

However, she admires the kids who stand up to the opposition and attend traditional proms with same-sex partners. "It's incredible that some young people have what it takes to endure sometimes brutal harassment from peers and from the community."

Read this whole article:
GLBT Youth Fight for the Right to Party at Prom
by Sue Katz - AlterNet - June 11, 2008
and please comment on it here and on the Alternet site.

Don't Take it Personally...

2008-06-06T09:21:00.000-07:00

As the end of the school year approaches, it becomes easier and easier to take what students say as a personal attack. To successfully do my job and be a responsible adult, I must understand that the words and actions of my students have more to do with themselves than with anybody else - but with less than three weeks left, I can feel myself losing patience and perspective. On my more selfish and self-victimizing days, it can feel like stepping into my classroom inherently means I consent to constant ridicule and criticism. This line of thought is absolutely ridiculous, I realize - if there is anyone wielding an inordinate and oppressive amount of power in my classroom, it is me.

Instead of placing "blame" on students for whom cruelty to others is simply a necessary part of their adolescence and nothing to do with me specifically, I consider the crux of the problem my lack of community around LGBT issues. While several teachers at my school are out to their peers as gay or lesbian, none of my colleagues or friends who teach at other schools are, to my knowledge, explicitly out to their students. Many educators I know can and do discuss abstract instances of homophobia – when one student calls another a "faggot," for example. But I do not personally know any other teachers who have watched one of their students point at them and say "I can't stand her class because I don't like gay people" (in a conference among this students' parents and all of his teachers, my colleagues). I also do not know of any other teachers who have received a message from one of their students reading "shut the fuck up you fucken pussy licker faget," as I did a few months ago from one of my sixth grade students.

The way my "authority" is undermined through these displays of homophobia causes me much more anxiety than I often admit. While my sixth graders may be twelve years old, their parents and many of the people in their spheres are not. From what I have seen and heard about, it is considered a matter of fact that parents often share or even encourage their student's homophobic sentiments. When a queer or trans teacher is criticized, it is impossible to know who – if anybody – will step up to defend us. Merely having used the word "queer" to identify myself to students could be grounds for increased scrutiny or suspicion.

When my aforementioned student stated in a parent-teacher conference that he didn't like my class because I am queer, I did not respond. To do so would imply that I need to defend myself or my identity – which I refuse to do. I did appreciate it when one of the other teachers at the meeting firmly established that the student needs to get over his issues with gay people if he expects to continue in public schools, where he will learn about "all different kinds of people." However, it was difficult to determine how the student's parents were reacting to this message. His father sat there and appeared to scowl.

Just two weeks ago, the mother of a student who is failing my class came to the school to speak to the Assistant Principal. She blamed her daughter's grades and disruptiveness on "a personality difference" between her and me. Her daughter has done no classwork and no homework for months, and she distracts other students during class on a daily basis. This student is currently failing multiple classes, and I have spoken with her other teachers and discovered that they take similar issue to her work and behavior. But for some reason, this student's mother did not use "personality difference" excuses with regards to any of the other teachers. When I brought this student to the Principal’s Office during my lunch period recently, it seemed as though the principal gave her more credit than she gave me.

Some would call me paranoid for feeling this way. However, considering the current climate in public education – which pushes administrators to do anything to minimize complaints and criticisms leveled against their schools – I worry that it would be easier to turn against an openly queer and gender variant teacher than to stand by me.

This brings up the question: Who bears the burdens to “be careful” in public schools? It seems that queer and trans teachers are weighed down more heavily by the burden of “carefulness” than some others. When I had my students read an article about the homophobic murder of Lawrence King, I was admonished by several colleagues to ‘be careful” bringing up such “mature” topics with middle school students. Another teacher at my school, though - a white, straight, normatively gendered man - apparently didn't feel any obligation to "be careful" last week when many teachers overheard him shouting to an eighth grade boy "What happened, did you lose your vagina?"

When I inform my colleagues that I am out as queer to my students, I often get “wow, how is that?” and “how does your administration feel about that?” Many people express incredulity that administrators and parents could have possibly not voiced some kind of problem. I almost sense a vague "tsk tsk" in some people's voices, as though I should know what to expect in being out, and particularly in allowing queerness and sexual orientation to arise as fodder for discussion, in my classroom. If I lose my job for allowing students to learn about such "mature" topics as the etymology of the word "faggot" or what "homophobia" means, then in the minds of some people I will have deserved it.

If it were not a large risk to one’s job security, I know for a fact that many more educators would come out and be open about their identities. If it did not entail putting your neck on the line in some way, more educators would push students to think critically about homophobia, transphobia, and social justice. As it stands, the emphasis of the public education system and the national government are to blame teachers for as much as possible, which puts pressure on teachers to cram every minute of every lesson with content that No Child Left Behind has deemed "valuable." I feel I constantly have to be careful, and that all it takes is one wrong step - and I don’t think I’m crazy for thinking that.

Safe Schools Coalition & Seattle Pride Parade 2008!

2008-06-05T15:17:00.000-07:00

News!

From: Eric Albert-Gauthier
Sent: Wednesday, June 04, 2008
Subject: Safe Schools Coalition - Seattle Pride Parade
Importance: High

June 2, 2008

The Seattle Out and Proud Board of Directors would like to extend our heartfelt congratulations on the selection of Safe Schools Coalition as a Grand Marshal for the 2008 Seattle Pride Parade. You should feel proud of the accomplishments you have achieved for the lesbian, gay, bi-sexual and transgender community. You were nominated and selected from the Seattle LGBT Community.

That’s why we are proud to have you lead the parade on Sunday, June 29th in downtown Seattle.

If you choose to accept this honor, please send a logo or picture and a bio for Safe Schools Coalition that we can use in print and on the web.

Please let me know if you accept this honor, and then I can provide you with more information.

Sincerely,
-Eric --
Eric Albert-Gauthier
President
www.seattlepride.org

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

June 5, 2008

Safe Schools Coalition selected as Grand Marshal of the Seattle Pride Parade!

The Coalition is proud to announce that The Seattle Out and Proud Board of Directors has chosen us to serve as a Grand Marshal of the (June 29) 2008 Seattle Pride Parade!!

This was the letter of nomination:

The Safe Schools Coalition was the spark that, 20 years ago this year, ignited the international movement for LGBTQ-safe-and-welcoming-schools. The Coalition did ground-breaking research that documented the anti-LGBTQ humiliation and the physical and sexual assaults happening in elementary middle and high schools all over the state. Today, the Coalition helps schools become safe places for every student, family and employee regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity or expression.

The Coalition’s members now include some national organizations and groups in other states, but it was founded in Seattle and still is largely the work of local volunteers and organizations, especially Public Health – Seattle & King County, the Washington Education Association, Lifelong AIDS Alliance, American Friends Service Committee, King County Sexual Assault Resource Center, Planned Parenthood of Western Washington, Greater Seattle Business Association, and Seattle Counseling Service for Sexual Minorities.

The Safe Schools Coalition trains teachers and principals and other school staff. It provides crisis intervention in Washington State for students experiencing anti-LGBTQ abuse at school. It provides an internationally respected listserve and web site that serve as clearinghouses where educators, parents and student activists from Aberdeen to Zimbabwe can find the tools they need from inclusive lesson plans, policies, books, and films to training tools.

The Coalition addresses oppression in its broadest sense, even as it focuses on heterosexism, homophobia and transphobia. It's always prided itself on serving schools as a trusted resource rather than as an adversarial outsider. And it is often unsung at events like Pride because it tries to shine the spotlight on its member organizations instead of the Coalition as a whole. Maybe this 20th anniversary year is the year to shift the spotlight of appreciation on the umbrella organization that so many people all over the world count on for resources and consultation.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

See you there!

Seattle Pride

Does the APA Think We're Idiots?

2008-06-03T09:24:00.001-07:00

On May 18, I criticized the APA’s decision to include Kenneth Zucker and Ray Blanchard on the committee to review its statements on Gender Identity Disorder (see "The Nationwide Attack on Queer and Trans Youth Continues"). Below is the APA’s recently issued “Statement on Gender Identity Disorder and the Planned Revision of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual" along with their response to two questions that concerned individuals might have about the committee.

I find their excuses hollow and their response completely inadequate, so here are ten of the many questions I have after reading this statement:

1 - What kind of “leadership position” among scientists and professionals is the APA committed to taking, exactly?

2 - Why is the 2005 appointed task force only reviewing APA policies and “scientific” literature, and not other sources as well?

3 - How can the APA “develop recommendations for education, training, practice, and further research” if they are only looking into conclusions that have been drawn by scientists and professionals about gender variance?

4 - What roles do trans and gender variant individuals have in the APA’s study, other than as specimens to be examined?

5 - How can the APA fail to once question the notion that “treatment” is necessary for gender variance?

6 - How can the APA turn a blind eye to the fact that pathologizing GID and determining a need for “treatment” create the stigma that the APA is purporting to discourage?

7 - What does “appropriate, nondiscriminatory” psychological treatment look like, and why doesn’t the APA describe it in this letter?

8 - How does the APA expect us to calm down and back off when the possibility of de-pathologization is not mentioned anywhere here?

9 - How dare the APA defend Kenneth Zucker as a “well-qualified psychologist” and simultaneously claim that they do not promote stigma and discrimination against trans people?

10 - Does the APA actually think we will just sit our hands and let this happen?

* * * * * * * * * * *

"Statement on Gender Identity Disorder and the Planned Revision of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual" from the American Psychological Association

APA Office of Public Affairs (202) 336-5700 Public.affairs@apa.org May 2008

There has been some recent confusion regarding the American Psychological Association and work being done on the next version of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM). The DSM is a publication of the American Psychiatric Association (ApA), not the American Psychological Association (APA). Questions regarding the DSM-V and the Sexual and Gender Identity Disorders Work Group should be directed to ApA.

For many years, the American Psychological Association has worked to end discrimination, including discrimination based on sex, gender identity and sexual orientation. APA is committed to taking a leadership position among the mental health professionals, scientists and scholars who are addressing the issues surrounding gender identity and transgenderism. APA formed a task force in 2005 to study gender identity and gender variance. This group has been reviewing both the scientific literature and APA policies related to these issues and developing recommendations for education, training, practice, and further research. The task force has completed a report that is slated to be presented to APA's governing Council of Representatives in August. It will make a series of recommendations, including that APA call upon psychologists to provide appropriate, nondiscriminatory treatment to all transgender and gender-variant individuals. It is expected that the Council will adopt the report and its recommendations.

The task force did not take a position with regard to the gender identity disorder diagnosis because there was no consensus among its members. Indeed, there is no consensus among professionals working in the field; reputable scientists continue to disagree about GID. Regardless of the disagreement concerning the GID diagnosis, there is a need for greater consensus on treatment of gender dysphoria. The task force strongly supports the development of practice guidelines for transgender clients.

APA believes that no psychological disorder should be stigmatized or used as the basis for discrimination. People who are concerned about issues having to do with their gender identity should have access to appropriate and non-discriminatory treatment. Mental health providers need to educate themselves about how to provide such care.

Responses to Possible Questions:

Q.What is the American Psychological Association's position with regard to the appointment of Dr. Kenneth Zucker and Dr. Ray Blanchard to the work group reviewing GID? Are you actively working to have them removed?

A. APA is pleased that well-qualified psychologists who are also members of APA have been included in the leadership of this aspect of the DSM revision. We are also aware that there are substantive disagreements in the field over the GID diagnosis and over the treatment of gender dysphoria. We call on this group and others working on the new DSM to apply the highest professional standards in reviewing the science and we encourage the careful consideration of all legitimate perspectives.

Q.Why did the American Psychological Association allow Dr. Kenneth Zucker to be part of its task force on gender identity?

A. APA's task force on gender identity was given a very specific charge -- to complete a review of the research literature on gender identity and transgenderism and to make recommendations based on that review. Nominations to the Task Force were widely sought and appointments to the task force, including that of Dr. Zucker, were made through a very thorough review process based on an individual psychologist's research, clinical expertise and experience. As is the case with all APA task forces, the final work product is grounded in the strongest, peer-reviewed science available and undergoes a rigorous review process within the APA governance structure before it can become APA policy. Ultimately, what becomes APA policy must be well-grounded in science not individual opinion.

"Weeding Out" Homophobes

2008-05-30T09:12:00.000-07:00

Two weeks ago in South Carolina, Eddie Walker resigned from his principalship at Irmo High School after a Gay-Straight Alliance (GSA) was created at Irmo. His resignation letter stated that his religious and professional beliefs “put him at odds” with such a group. Recently, there has been quite a fuss over Walker’s resignation. (See http://www.thestate.com/local/story/417460.html for more information.)

Let’s tell it like it is: An admitted and unapologetic homophobe has chosen to remove himself from a position of authority over children. This is a sign of hope for LGBT youth in public schools, because it indicates that Walker felt it would be futile to attempt to destroy the GSA from within.

Though he was clearly hoping that the school board would ban the GSA, Walker’s resignation doesn’t seem to have hurt the Irmo High School community yet. If anything, it appears to have further cemented the solidarity among queer-positive people in Greenville. Earlier this week, a large crowd gathered outside the district school board meeting to support the foundation of the gay-straight alliance that Walker protested. One Greenville resident spoke about the homophobic murder of her son this past year. The crowd sent a message to the school board about the absolute necessity for the gay-straight alliance that Walker had such a personal problem with.

Though I believe education is a crucial first step in effectively addressing LGBT ignorance, I also believe that it doesn’t hurt to put pressure on homophobes and transphobes to get out and stay out. People who are unwilling to self-educate and open their eyes to ever-growing worlds of sexuality and gender should be made to feel unwelcome. I have no qualms about forcing people like Eddie Walker to confront their own biases, and I have no sympathy for bigots who are put on the spot and called out for their violence. Claims about so-called “reverse discrimination” against heterosexuals are completely bogus.

We need to trash this trumped-up notion of “tolerance” that fosters condescension from heterosexuals and cisgendered people towards LGBT individuals. Let’s dispose of the concept of “tolerance” that does nothing to prevent the stigmatization and phenomenalization of queer and trans people. I wish more public schools would send the message: We will not tolerate anyone who propagates bigotry and hate. Not around here.

To Eddie Walker: Good for you, for standing with your convictions. And good riddance.

Another Campaign to "Cure" Trans Youth

2008-05-28T05:17:00.000-07:00

Below is TransActive Education and Advocacy's response to yet another attack on transgender youth, this time by the Philadelphia Catholic Medical Association. The PCMA takes the position that trans youth need to be forced to adhere to the proper confines of their "birth gender," at any cost. According to them, it's in trans kids' best interests to be forcibly denied their basic rights of self-expression.

I wish I could chalk this up to the work of insane right-wing Christians whom nobody could actually take seriously, but the PCMA's position seems to be reflective of the current climate surrounding trans youth. The PCMA cites Kenneth Zucker's writings to support their claims. And... Zucker was just appointed to head the APA's committee to review the DSM - V, which covers Gender Identity Disorder.

Does anyone else find this infuriating? Is it possible to deny that there is currently a full-fledged assault on transgender youth going on in this country?

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Portland, OR (May 27, 2008)

TransActive Education & Advocacy, a Portland, Oregon-based non-profit organization that works on behalf of transgender and gender non-conforming children, youth and their families speaks in opposition to the Philadelphia Catholic Medical Association's recently issued Press Release on so-called cross-dressing In schools.

Our response to this Press Release follows the excerpted statement below.
_ _ _ _ _

THE PHILADELPHIA CATHOLIC MEDICAL ASSOCIATION
http://www.cathmedphila.org/
May 16, 2008

Excerpt from the Catholic Medical Association's statement:

"Superintendents and school district should insist that parents who want their children to attend school dressed in opposite sex clothing be required to have a mental health evaluation for such a child to determine if the child has a gender identity disorder.

"Permitting behavior such as cross-dressing by a child with GID will not help the child; rather, it will enable and reinforce a serious psychiatric disorder. Principals and superintendents should not permit or tolerate any cross-dressing in schools. Not only will this further harm a child with GID, but it will cause other children to suffer confusion and distress.

"The Philadelphia Inquirer recently published an article on May 3, 2008 about a nine year old boy at suburban primary school, who will be allowed to dress as a girl and be addressed by a girl's name. In the article the principal of the school is noted to have written a letter to parents explaining that a transgender child is one whose biological gender does not match his or her gender identity.

"This demonstrates a common but serious lack of knowledge of the medical literature related to psychiatric diagnoses in children. These studies show that children with strong transsexual thinking and behaviors, in fact, usually have the diagnosis of a Gender Identity Disorder (GID). GID leads to the desire to dress in clothing of the opposite sex and to be called by a name of the opposite sex. The major textbook on this subject is Gender Identity Disorder, by Zucker and Bradley.

"These children have failed to identify and embrace the goodness of their masculinity or femininity for a number of reasons, related particularly to conflicts with peers and parents, primarily with their mothers.

"As Zucker and Bradley document in their clinical work and research, most children who are treated for GID recover. They come to accept and embrace their birth gender.

"Paul McHugh, former chairman of psychiatry at Johns Hopkins, studied those who sought transsexual surgery and has written, 'I have witnessed a great deal of damage from sex-reassignment. The children transformed from their male constitution into female roles suffered prolonged distress and misery as they sensed their natural attitudes. Their parents usually lived with guilt over their decisions - second-guessing themselves and somewhat ashamed of the fabrication, both surgical and social, they had imposed on their sons.'"
_ _ _ _

From the outset, the Catholic Medical Association's statement is disingenuous in its representation of both the child and parental motivation for allowing this nine-year old to attend school in a way that is respectful of their true gender identity (female) rather than reflective only of their assigned birth sex (male) based solely upon their anatomy. Furthermore, this is a standard to which other students are not held. There is no school in the country that we are aware of that requires students to first submit to a gender identity/anatomical sex congruity exam prior to being allowed to attend school.

To imply that this child simply "wants" to attend school dressed like a girl is a gross and misleading over-simplification of what a gender non-conforming child experiences. This child has always identified as female. She simply wants to be extended the right to express herself in a way that is consistent with her gender identity.

The implication by the Catholic Medical Association that gender non-conforming and transgender children, youth and their families do not seek out psychological guidance prior to making these difficult decisions is nothing more than a blatant attempt at prejudicing their membership and those who might read this press release against these children, their families and anyone who might support them.

Our organization works with many therapists that provide counseling services to these children, youth and families. In fact, we have never come across a single case of a parent or caregiver that has not first sought counseling for both their child and their family before taking any specific action related to their child's gender non-conforming identity.

Nor is there and credible evidence that a transgender or gender non-conforming child will cause other children to be confused or distressed. They may ask questions, but the last time we checked, school was about asking questions and learning not only about reading, writing and arithmetic but about developing the social skills to work with and respect the many types of people our children will encounter throughout their lives.

They assert, incorrectly, that "children with strong transsexual thinking and behaviors, in fact, usually have the diagnosis of a Gender Identity Disorder (GID)." In fact, the reverse is true.

A clinical diagnosis of GID (Gender Identity Dysphoria) in children predates by several years any conclusions regarding what may or may not be a 'transsexual' outcome. It is not up to the therapist, psychologist or the Catholic Medical Association to decide when or if a child is a 'transsexual'. That decision is theirs and theirs alone to make once they attain an age of informed consent.

They claim in their press release that "GID leads to the desire to dress in clothing of the opposite sex and to be called by a name of the opposite sex. The major textbook on this subject is Gender Identity Disorder, by Zucker and Bradley."

Again, this is a misleading and distressingly wrong-headed statement for a so-called medical organization to make. GID does not "lead" to the desire to dress in any type of clothing or to be called by any particular name. In fact, a child's sense of their gender identity is independent of clothing or name preferences.

As to Zucker and Bradley having written "the major textbook on this subject", this is a substantial overstatement of the credibility and acceptance the work of Kenneth Zucker and Susan Bradley has been accorded within the circle of those who research and treat transgender and gender non-conforming children and youth.

In their press release, they outrageously state that, "These children have failed to identify and embrace the goodness of their masculinity or femininity for a number of reasons, related particularly to conflicts with peers and parents, primarily with their mothers."

They clearly choose to accuse these children of "failing" to accepting the "goodness" of an arbitrary or stereotypical standard of 'masculinity' or 'femininity' and then go on to broadly apply questionable Freudian thinking regarding peer pressure, parental influence and ultimately, blaming the mother for causing a child's gender non-conformity. This is more than voodoo medicine...it's blatantly misogynistic.

The Catholic Medical Association quotes Zucker and Bradley as reporting that, "most children who are treated for GID recover. They come to accept and embrace their birth gender."

The facts are that Zucker and Bradley believe (inaccurately) that 75% of gender non-conforming children end up identifying as homosexual rather than transsexual or transgender. We suspect this is what they refer to as "recovering" from GID and later "embracing" their birth gender. Would it be too cynical to believe that under different circumstances, in a different press release, the Catholic Medical Association might not consider this alleged "recovery" to a homosexual identity to be an altogether positive outcome?

The quote from Paul McHugh, former Chairman of Psychiatry at Johns Hopkins University contains, to be blunt, a misrepresentation of data clinical research with regard to transgender identity and surgical or hormonal outcomes in children and adolescents. During Dr. McHugh's tenure at Johns Hopkins there was virtually no hormonal or surgical treatment of transgender children or adolescents.

There was treatment by Dr. John Money (since completely discredited) done with regard to intersex, genitally ambiguous and surgically mutilated infants, however those conditions are unrelated to transgender identity in children. Any suggestion otherwise by either Paul McHugh or the Catholic Medical Association is, to put it generously, a stretch.

The continued assumption by organizations like the Catholic Medical Association, Exodus International and NARTH, as well as individuals like Kenneth Zucker and Paul McHugh that gender non-conforming and transgender children are confused, distressed or 'disordered' as a result of their gender identity belies an arrogance that only does further damage to these amazing children and their families.

Their failure to recognize that the stress, unhappiness and too often, suicidal ideation these children and youth experience comes as a consequence of the judgments, stereotypes, fundamentalist religious persecution, indifference and ignorance of these organizations and individuals is not only appalling, it dances precipitously near the fringes of child abuse.

The Philadelphia Catholic Medical Association should ask forgiveness for their ethical, moral and medical sins against these children, youth and their families.

Religious Right Says: Save Our Children From Trans People!

2008-05-26T15:40:00.001-07:00

The following radio spot, entitled “Predator,” began circulating this past month in Colorado: http://www.denverpost.com/ci_9350160.

This is yet another classic example of the religious right’s invocation of “children’s safety” in order to promote their own political candidates and agenda.

This clip is not coming from groups who aim to eradicate sexual assault and violence against women, though “Predator” may seem to insinuate that. In fact, Focus on the Family Action and Colorado Family Action, the two groups responsible for creating and running the spot, could seem to care less about women’s rights. Focus on the Family Action states on its website that it is geared towards those who care about the “family” and about “traditional moral values.” The Focus on the Family Action page is devoted entirely to a preservation of traditional marriage between a man and a woman (and, I would think by extension, the “traditional” use of marriage as a means for men to possess and own women) and the restriction of abortion and contraceptive access for women.

“Predator” invokes age-old stereotypes about trans women and gender non-conforming individuals in order to fight against public schools’ development of gender-neutral bathrooms. The groups behind the clip are clearly trying to capitalize on mainstream society’s rampant transphobia and anxiety about gender norms in order to endorse their politician of choice.

This endorsement parrots the classic transphobic cliché: We must carefully monitor conditions in our public schools to ensure that gender non-normative and transgender people cannot comfortably or safely enter those spaces. If not, trans people will inevitably destroy “our children.”

Is anyone else getting sick of this bullshit? I can only hope that anyone who hears it realizes how downright ridiculous it is - unfortunately, I fear that may not be the case. As a gender non-normative educator in a public middle school, the fervor and confidence with which these ludicrous right-wingers attack trans people’s humanity in instances like this gives me pause, despite my better sense.

Another LGBT Issue More Important Than Gay Marriage

2008-05-25T13:06:00.001-07:00

On May 20th, the National Coalition of Anti-Violence Programs (NCAVP) put out a report on anti-LGBT hate violence that indicated a 24% increase in incidents from 2006 to 2007. I wish I could say I am surprised to hear this.

Jovida Ross, the Executive Director of Community United Against Violence in San Francisco, stated that the increase indicates that “more people within the queer community are reporting sexual assaults” and considered it a “hopeful sign that [queer people] are coming out of isolation to heal from trauma” and a demonstration of “the positive impact of education and outreach.”

While Ross’ optimistic, “the glass is half full” approach to the rise in reported anti-LGBT violence is refreshing, I remain skeptical. So does Avy Skolnik, National Programs Coordinator of the New York City Anti-Violence Project, who suggests that the actual number of violent anti-LGBT incidents is probably even higher than reported: “We know that the 2, 430 people who called on our organizations in 2007 are only a small fraction of the actual number of LGBT people who experienced bias-motivated violence.”

Over the past year, LGBT-related bullying and violence has particularly stood out as a daunting challenge to the self-determination and self-expression of students in public schools. Perhaps the biggest tragedy was the February 2008 murder of eighth grader Lawrence King by fourteen-year-old classmate Brandon McInerney in California.

King’s death touched close to home for many educators, including myself. I witness verbal and physical harassment regularly in the hallway of my school, often involving words like “faggot” and “sissy,” and it frequently goes unreported by students and teachers alike. This year a large number of violent attacks have been made by and on our students, both inside and outside of the building of my school. While none of these attacks have been explicitly connected to LGBT issues, gender plays so significant a role in the nature of the aggression that it seems inextricably linked to gender identity and expression. Unfortunately, though, bullying is considered a fact of life for middle schoolers - “well, they’re in middle school, what do you expect?” and “it builds character” are used far too often by teachers and administrators as excuses to look the other way.

Fed up with our school’s general complacency about bullying, which is a more pressing concern than bubble sheets in the lives of our students, several teachers – most of us queer women - created a group called Respect For All to meet once a week. Despite its cheesy name, we anticipated that Respect For All would jump-start our school’s progress towards effectively addressing bullying. Unfortunately, founding and maintaining this kind of group has proven extremely challenging. Initially, several unnamed colleagues in the school expressed discomfort about the group, telling administrators that it would take up valuable time even though the meetings took place after school hours. Administrators failed to attend meetings, provide resources, or lend an open ear. Also, few educators have the energy to create and advocate for institutional change while mired in individual lesson planning and the everyday exhaustions of teaching. Between administrative discouragement and a lack of teacher investment, for which I am partly responsible, Respect For All has disbanded.

Combating bullying requires more than the existence of groups like Respect For All – it requires a collaborative effort and careful allocation of schools’ resources. As in many public schools under No Child Left Behind, my administration will abruptly halt regular school programming to give “pop” standardized tests. But it seems unfathomable that a school-wide day of education about the devastating effects of widespread bullying could feasibly take the place of scheduled classes. The efforts of Respect For All to create a “Respect Week” to kick off the 2008-2009 school year are wasted if administrators at our school aren’t willing to make room at the beginning of next school year for anti-bullying, pro-awareness workshops and activities for students.

So what can we do, in schools and outside of schools, to combat anti-LGBT violence?

First, we must advocate for collaborative efforts among teachers, staff, and administrators to confront bullying and violence in schools. Everyone in schools must recognize that classroom time and the learning students do in the education system are about more than test preparation – regardless of what the state and federal governements would lead us to believe. Tearing down No Child Left Behind is crucial in this endeavor.

Second, there needs to be a shift of some of the focus of LGBT organizations and resources away from gay marriage and onto issues like anti-LGBT violence and homophobia and transphobia in the education system and the justice system. Though I’m not inherently opposed to gay marriage, marriage laws will not fundamentally change the fact that violent homophobia and transphobia seem to be socially sanctioned just about everywhere in the nation. We need some of HRC’s - for one example - money and time to be channeled into ensuring universal LGBT and HIV-positive health care access, eradicating LGBT harassment in schools, fighting police brutality, ending the discrimination against undocumented immigrants that affects many LGBT communities, and addressing the abuses of transgender people in United States prisons.

Third, we must challenge the misconception that throwing more people into jail will effectively address anti-LGBT violence. Though Brandon McInerney committed a horrifying act of hatred, trying McInerney as an adult and pushing for a life sentence without parole will not ultimately help to prevent anti-LGBT violence. Though some might convince themselves that it will in order to cope with the anger such a tragedy incites, the prison industrial complex is more about quarantining society’s “unwanteds” than it is about rehabilitation or protection. Even hate crime legislation may not ultimately serve LGBT aims. Due to their selective enforcement, bias laws may ultimately harm "the most disadvantaged members of society and ironically those whom [they] are intended to help,” as Frederick M. Lawrence states in the abstract for his recent book. The criminal justice system is notorious for its blatant targeting of minorities, transgender people, and queer youth, and reinforcing its power by looking to it to solve our problems with anti-LGBT violence without addressing its many problems will only hurt LGBT people more in the end.

Sigourney Weaver is making the movie "Prayers for Bobby"

2008-05-21T21:44:00.000-07:00

Leroy Aarons' 1995 book this is based on is poweful. The film is due to debut next February, with Weaver producing and acting the part of Bobby's mother, Mary Griffith.

"Sigourney Weaver's passion and dedication to this project are incredibly inspiring," says Tanya Lopez, Lifetime's head of original movies. "As both the star and co-producer of this movie, she wholly embodies the strength and perseverance of Mary Griffith."

Based on Leroy Aarons' book, "Prayers for Bobby" centers on Mary Griffith, a devout Presbyterian who raises her children in strict accordance with church teachings. But when her son Bobby confesses he might be gay, she won't accept it and instead urges him to pray more and seek out a "cure." Bobby obeys, but he also spirals into depression and eventually commits suicide.

The film will also chart Mary Griffith's reaching out to the gay community, where she finds unexpected support.

Sigourney Weaver Says 'Prayers' with Lifetime

Some Must-Read Queer YA Literature

2008-05-21T20:40:00.000-07:00

The distinction between a book that is LGBT-positive and a book I would call queer is difficult to draw, but I believe it exists. A great number of books geared towards young readers take a definitively gay-friendly stance, by advocating for gay marriage rights or possibly incorporating a gay or lesbian individual into its collection of secondary characters. Those texts, however, rarely delve into the nuances and wide array of experiences associated with queer or trans adolescence.

I know very little about the politics behind the publishing of young adult literature. However, it does not take an expert to see that “pro-gay” books that hope to circulate to a wide young adult audience usually revolve around assimilationist narratives of LGBT people – almost always suburban, white, and middle-class - who are absolutely “normal” and endearing to a mainstream public in every way other than their sexual orientation.

The truly excellent, valuable, and queer reads for middle school students, in my opinion, push the envelope on this point and attempt to present for adolescent contemplation characters whose sexualities and genders are not – and cannot be – isolated from other aspects of their identities and lives.

This is why every middle school and high school English teacher absolutely must read Jacqueline Woodson’s From the Notebooks of Melanin Sun with his or her classes. The book describes the process of Melanin Sun, an almost-fourteen-year-old boy, after his mother comes out as queer (her own language of self-identification) and, possibly even more shockingly for a biracial boy immersed in a predominantly black neighborhood in Brooklyn, as being in love with a white woman. Melanin Sun opened up intellectual doors for my classes last year, and students generated a running list of big issues and concepts we came across as I read it aloud to them. It practically creates lessons for teachers. It demands that readers think about the phenomenon of white people entering a predominantly non-white sphere. Several students of mine who live in the currently gentrifying Brooklyn neighborhood of Red Hook brought up examples from their lived experiences to contribute to a conversation about the class and racial conflicts that can erupt in gentrifying areas.

Melanin Sun exposes readers to LGBTQ experiences that extend beyond simplistic portrayals of homophobia. Kristin, the partner of Melanin’s mother, illustrates the concept of “chosen family” because her birth family disowned her when she came out as queer. Melanin Sun is perfect for the middle school classroom because it demands critical inquiry into who “owns” identity-related language. Woodson uses words like “queer,” “fag,” and “dyke” in the book to refer to sexuality – the words “gay” and “homosexual” are rarely seen. My students kept a running list of questions that arose as we read, including: What does “queer” mean, and why do Melanin’s mother and Kristin use it? How can Melanin’s mom be a lesbian if she has a kid? Should his mom have told Melanin earlier than she did? When, if ever, should a word like “queer” be used, and by whom? This last question prompted a particularly fascinating full-class conversation about who has the right to invoke what terminology – is it different for an LGBTQ person to call themselves queer than for a straight person to do so? Why or why not? This text opened innumerable analytical doors leading into important conversations relevant to social justice and to students’ lived experiences. Instead of providing an empty, cut-and-dry rhetoric of “gay is okay!”, Woodson pushes and challenges readers to think critically about the complicated ways identities work – something that far too few young adult novels about issues of identity do.

Another novel to share with middle school students is Totally Joe by James Howe. Though the book takes place in what could be described as a quasi-suburbia in upstate New York dominated by middle-class white kids, it maintains a healthy dose of self-consciousness about that fact and avoids relying upon the tired trope of the “tragic faggot” narrative. Howe has created a deeply compelling and realistic character in the narrator Joe, a gay middle schooler experiencing his first relationship with a boy in his class. The book offers a vivid depiction of a character who is complex and inevitably identifiable to middle school students (regardless of their sexualities) coming out in a relatively rural area of the United States. Joe’s characteristics read as queer, but James Howe avoids resorting to dull or problematic stereotypes, which is a tricky balance to navigate in young adult literature. Overall, Totally Joe provides a great readaloud and engaging character study for middle school students.

There is also value in having a book like Carrie Mac’s Crush in the middle school classroom. Crush revolves around a mostly-white and socioeconomically privileged lesbian community in gentrified Park Slope, Brooklyn. The benefit of this book is that it focuses on a young woman’s coming out and thereby addresses issues of female sexuality without any male presence, which is an infrequent trait in young adult literature. It is also an Orca brand book, which means that it is considered by many educators to be more accessible to “lower level” readers than many other texts while containing content mature enough to be relevant to middle schoolers. Crush isn’t an ideal full-class read, as it does not come close to the depth and power of Melanin Sun, but it is good to have around for a book partnership or individual student looking for “low level, high interest” texts.

Queer young adult literature ideally sparks analytical thought about operations of power in society, how identities are read and interpreted, and how meanings are mapped onto identities in various social contexts. Melanin Sun does this the best of any of these texts, to the point that I wish it were required reading in college courses. If you haven’t read it yet, set aside an hour of time and zip through it on the subway. Then, give it to your students, your younger sibling, or a random teenager you bump into. Everyone can benefit from it.

The Nationwide Attack on Queer and Trans Youth Continues

2008-05-18T23:13:00.000-07:00

The systematic assault on queer, trans, and allied youth occurring in the United States may as well be federally sanctioned.

The murder of openly queer eighth grader Lawrence King by a fellow middle school student in February received a mere fraction of the press coverage devoted to similar school shootings. Sadly, I am sure that the circumstances of King’s death were ignored by faculty or teachers at most schools around the nation. I am even more certain that many teachers who knew about King’s death did not inform their students about it, and made similar excuses to some teachers at my school: “Students might get scared by it,” and “they’re so young, they won’t understand, and they will giggle at the word ‘gay’.”

The giggling of middle school students does not typically deter teachers from doing our jobs. But the popular media, the national public education system, and a political climate in which open homophobia is sanctioned don’t exactly encourage teachers to address these instances of hate inside our classrooms.

A public school teacher must swim upstream in order to touch on LGBT issues in any way beyond a simplifying and tokenizing “gay is okay!” – and sometimes that’s even going too far according to parents, or school districts, or administrators in his or her specific school. Educating students about the murder of Lawrence King and the very real, lived repercussions of homophobia and transphobia is an almost impossible sacrifice for individual teachers to make without strong networks of support and mentorship. The lack of discourse in schools about sexuality, gender, and expression that results from such a culture of repression is, quite literally, killing LGBT youth.

Does anybody care about the current status of queer and trans youth in the U.S.? Does nobody see the alarming rate of homelessness among LGBT children, particularly youth of color, in New York City? Does nobody hear about the singling out of queer youth of color by police officers on the Chelsea Piers in Manhattan? Has the plight of LGBT youth in this nation been so successfully erased by the federal government, by law enforcement, and by our schools that nobody in the United States sees what is happening?

Recently, several all-too-familiar faces in the push to invisibilize and dehumanize trans people have popped up, courtesy of the American Psychiatric Association. The APA recently appointed a committee to review and revise the DSM-V, which covers the diagnoses of Gender Identity Disorder. The committee will be headed by none other than Kenneth Zucker, a psychiatrist who is notorious for his efforts to “prevent” transsexuality, which have resulted in a great deal of violence and abusiveness towards trans youth. (See the Torontoist article at http://torontoist.com/2008/05/but_for_today_i_am_a_boy.php and a valuable Bilerico post at http://www.bilerico.com/2008/05/uh_oh.php for more information on Zucker). The fact that Zucker is still considered qualified to speak as a psychiatrist at all is mind-boggling.

The committee will also include Ray Blanchard, who also has a long history of oppressive pathologization of transsexuality, particularly in trans women. The APA has released statements in the past few days, attempting to reassure those of us who are infuriated by such a blatant attack on trans people. They “explain” that there is absolutely no chance that homosexuality will return to the list of mental disorders. They "explain" that the DSM addresses criteria for the diagnosis of mental disorders, and not treatment recommendations or guidelines. So… everyone should just relax.

What a load of dung.

It looks to me like the APA is trying to cover its own ass by claiming that diagnosing is entirely separate from proscribing treatment for GID, which is ludicrous. No statement by the APA can erase Zucker’s and Blanchard’s deeply upsetting histories of violent transphobia and advocacy of "curing" children by forcibly squashing any indicators of their transsexuality. The APA may attempt to discourage and dissuade potential protesters, but it’s not going to appease my anger. On a daily basis, trans youth in the United States are denied the right to express their gender(s) and are aggressively ripped away from their identities. If Zucker and Blanchard have their way, by 2012 the violences done to trans youth in this nation will not only continue to happen but will be authorized by the APA.

Final Thoughts Defending the Day of Silence

2008-05-16T14:53:00.000-07:00

A troubling article in this week’s SnoValley Star [http://snovalleystar.com/2008/05/14/hutcherson-vows-another-protest#comment-200] quotes the local pastor who led a demonstration during this year’s Day of Silence, promising more protests during next year’s Day of Silence at this tiny rural Washington State high school.

The Safe Schools Coalition is proud of the brave gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and questioning students at Mt. Si and their wonderful straight classmates who stand up for them every year on the Day of Silence. And at almost every other high school in the region. And we will keep turning out in their defense for as long as Rev. Hutcherson continues to turn out crowds to express disapproval of them.

These courageous students have the same right to safe passage to, from and during school, every day of the year, as does Rev. Hutcherson’s daughter. And their liking someone of their own sex or their not being as masculine or as feminine as someone thinks they should be ought to have absolutely no bearing on their access to an education. They shouldn’t have to pretend and they shouldn’t be made invisible. And they have every right to the civil disobedience of being silent one day out of the year! For Pete’s sake, give everybody writing assignments that day; encourage reading, athletics and arts. Teachers can find a bazillion perfectly appropriate teaching methodologies that don’t require verbal discourse for one day!

As for Mr. Potratz’ analogy … the teacher was obviously just trying to say that children’s free speech doesn’t end at the school house door, no matter how odious their beliefs might be.

That said, comparing forms of oppression is dicey. Gay and transgender young people do get murdered on a regular basis — about one every two months in the U.S. (see http:www.50under30.org) — as did middle schooler Larry King this past February. But their numbers pale relative to the generations of African Americans beaten to death during slavery and lynched since abolition. We appreciate people’s sensitivity about analogies to horrific things like slavery.

The point is, nevertheless, that it’s tragic for schools to ignore racism, homophobia, misogyny, classism or xenophobia. When schools abdicate, students learn anyway. They learn from media and older peers. They learn prejudices and misinformation about people different from themsleves.

The Day of Silence is a protest against teachers’ silence in the face of anti-gay bullying and disrespect. Adults in every school need to do a better job of stopping ALL harassment and of teaching about ALL kinds of diversity.

Hear, hear for teachers like Mr. Potratz and Ms. McCormick who stand up for students, even if the particular words Mr. P used may have been too easily misconstrued. He tried. Besides, some folks may intentionally misconstrue others' words for their own reasons. How many other teachers stand by, afraid to say anything, while students like the boy who killed Larry hurl words and fists and, eventually, bullets.

Let's stand by teachers who care.

Today, in the News (Or Not?)

2008-05-15T17:17:00.000-07:00

Word of California’s decision to lift the ban on gay marriage implemented in 2000 has spread like wildfire today. Though it is true that this decision could set a valuable precedent in terms of legal policy, I can’t help but be incredibly frustrated by the nearsightedness and narrow-mindedness of the gays who tend to dominate these political pushes.

The Human Rights Campaign (HRC) is the perfect example of an assimilationist, visible gay rights organization. The HRC focuses on the legalization of gay marriage to the exclusion of numerous issues that are pressing to many LGBTQ people throughout the nation. This past year the HRC abandoned transgender people in their push to get an ENDA bill passed that would ban discrimination against LGBT individuals in the United States. Apparently, the HRC felt it would be easier to get the bill passed to protect the rights of gays and lesbians if they dropped the “T” and forgot about trans folks’ rights. So they did. Simple as that.

It is what is not so visible in the mainstream news today that betrays the fact that upper- and middle-class gays, as exemplified by organizations like the HRC, could not care less about more disadvantaged LGBT people.

Yesterday, a man named Willie Campbell was sentenced to 35 years in prison for spitting at a police officer in Dallas, Texas. The reason for such a severe sentence, for what could be passed off as an intoxicated slip-up? Campbell is HIV-positive and was therefore charged with assault with a deadly weapon. The arresting officer, Dan Waller, has been quoted as saying “I know it sounds cliché, but this is why you lock someone up, so our streets are safer… Without him out there, our streets are a safer place.”

Wait a second. I thought HIV couldn’t be contracted through saliva? Campbell’s sentence is obviously grounded in a stigmatization of people who are positive, rather than in any rational – or legal, or scientific!– concern that Waller had contracted HIV from Campbell’s spit. Are we going to begin quarantining people with HIV/AIDS now, because the world would be “safer”? The sentencing of Willie Campbell is a classic instance of fear tactic employment by the government, which uses idiotic law enforcement officers like Dan Waller as its pawns. Regimes, like George W. Bush’s, that operate by fear always designate certain bodies as “monstrous” or “scary.” They promise mainstream members of society that they will all be “safe” if those deviants are put behind bars and isolated from society. Trouble is, the only groups of people not categorically classified as “dangerous” seem to be white and upper- or middle-class.

What does all of this have to do with education and LGBT issues in schools? Everything, particularly because many of my students are young, low-income children of color deemed “unsafe” and closely monitored by law enforcement because of their demographic. The NYPD is already just waiting to pounce on if they make one misstep – and most of my students are acutely aware of this. Students in many under-resourced, urban public schools end up becoming less than human, becoming known and tracked by their scores on standardized tests. As I discussed in my first post, public schools often serve as funnels to channel society’s “unwanteds” into prisons. From the moment they are born, or from their second grade year when they missed thirty days of school, or from their fifth grade year when they failed their math class, many students in these schools are branded as “dangerous” or as soon-to-be criminals.

Where were organizations like Lambda Legal and the HRC while Willie Campbell was being sentenced? While Campbell's sexual orientation and sexual practices are unknown, and HIV cannot be considered an exclusively “gay” disease, HIV/AIDS activism has been a cornerstone of LGBT culture and recent history. After wealthy white gays initiated HIV/AIDS activism when the pandemic broke out in the United States in the 1980’s, all of a sudden they can’t seem to find the time, money, or energy to help communites grappling with HIV access resources. In more ways than one, the refusal of HRC and other LGBT organizations to lift a finger to combat HIV stigmatization and improve access to care in impoverished communities – where many severely underresourced schools are located - hurts students like mine.

Gay marriage is a pressing issue for only an elite subset of LGBT individuals. For mainstream gay groups to fail to address the dehumanization of people with HIV/AIDS by the criminal justice system is an utter tragedy. Many of the individuals - some LGBT-identified, some HIV-positive - whose lives are in the crosshairs of this issue attend public schools in the United States, right now.

What is "Safe" in Middle School?

2008-05-13T17:43:00.000-07:00

Making it through two years teaching English at a public middle school in Brooklyn hardly qualifies me to define what it means to be a radical or queer educator. However, one lesson I have quickly learned is that for teachers anecdotes can be crucial building blocks of community and direction. Keeping that in mind, I’m sharing my experiences and reflections as a 23-year-old, white, dyke-identified, visibly genderqueer, recent Ivy League graduate oriented towards social justice and educational equality.

What my queer and social justice sensibilities have fostered in me over the past two years, more than anything, is a desire to shift away from traditional pedagogical power dynamics. My school’s student population is overwhelmingly non-white, and over ninety percent of students receive government subsidized lunches. My school is also one of innumerable public schools in the United States in which obedience or “being good” seems to be among the most emphasized traits. These facts are not coincidental, as anyone who has taken a glance at the New York City public education system can glean.

Ultimately, I am happy to have landed at my school. It is considered a better place to be, both as a teacher and as a student, than many schools in Brooklyn. But this fact itself attests to the infuriating discrepancies between white- and upper-class-dominated schools pushing their students to challenge what they learn and underfunded schools in which students who are mostly low-income minorities are applauded for forming straight lines in the hallway. The silent lunches imposed upon students at my school when they are disobedient is one manifestation of the overwhelming segregation – in terms of class, race, and the allocation of government funding – of schools in New York City.

Thinkers like Michel Foucault and Angela Davis have gone into detail explaining how schools can serve as pipelines either towards or away from the prison industrial complex. As it stands, even relatively stable schools like mine end up channeling a shocking number of children of color into the criminal justice system via ACS, juvenile detention facilities, or high schools with abysmal graduation rates. Even well-meaning teachers, deans, and assistant principals end up feeling pressure to “get rid” of “problem students.” Threats from teachers, along the lines of “If you don’t sit silently, you’ll be thrown into In-House” or “If you don’t shape up, I’ll have you out of this school before you know it” are commonly heard by students. It is crucial to also consider the disadvantages faced by LGBTQ students in such a culture of condemning “deviant” behavior.

I want to resist these trends to rule by threats and prison-like punishment, but I’ve recently found myself resorting to some teacher authority trips that mortify me. My hope that an individual teacher can affect change, despite being mired in such a convoluted web of oppression, ebbs and flows. I constantly struggle with so-called classroom management in part because I am unsure what a “safe” classroom looks like. The models I have seen of ideal classrooms show students as robots who are terrified to step out of line, let alone shake things up with a controversial opinion.

This lends me to believe that “safe” isn’t a particularly useful word unless its meaning is clearly delineated. I want to push students, and I want every single one of my students to feel “safe” to intellectually challenge themselves and each other. Clearly, I must not allow some students to ruin other students’ learning opportunities, or to discourage other students from participating in class – but how do I do this? Simply banishing students from my classroom to sit in the hallway is not ultimately effective. Tactics such as this and sending students to In-House Suspension only perpetuate the deeply problematic myth that students who are “bad” (and whom the teacher self-authorizes to designate as such) should be weeded out, isolated, and deemed hopeless. One of the most horrifying thoughts I have ever had as a teacher is “I wish that student would just disappear.”

I have begun to notice recently that many of the classroom management “problems” that occur in my classroom have more to do with my attitude and reaction than with student behavior. If I feel particularly impatient and defensive on any given day, I sometimes make the mistake of taking what a student does or says as a personal attack on myself. In these moments, I have lost sight of the fact that though the way I comport and present myself in my classroom has a profound affect, none of what happens in the classroom is about me. I need to be conscious of my own positioning in my classroom, and the fact that my responsibility as a teacher is to meet my students where they are intellectually, emotionally, and developmentally.

When I was able to address a students’ use of the word “faggot” in the hallway without taking it personally, I discovered that he had no idea what the word actually meant. Due to the popularity of “faggot” as an all-purpose insult, I conducted a language study of “faggot” with my classes. The study confirmed, for the most part, what I had already suspected: Most of my students did not associate “faggot” with homophobia but simply recognized it as the most potent insult society-at-large had provided them. An overwhelming number of my students thought that it was specifically an insult to “fat people” because of the linguistic similarities between “fat” and “fag.” Tracing the history of the word “faggot” provided a window into the way words change over time that my students appreciated and paid a great deal of respect.

Teachers who assert that middle schoolers are “too young” or “too immature” to handle complex discussions of identity are either out of their minds or determined to repress students’ intelligence. This belief is the crux of my attempts at radical and queer pedagogy, which involve more than simply inserting LGBT or minority authors into curricula. Queer pedagogy entails pushing students to think critically about issues of power, identity, race, sexuality, gender, and class, and opening (rather than shutting) discourse. This requires a certain amount of respect for students that is difficult for any teacher to maintain due to the threat of having one’s authority undermined.

Therefore, the question is: Is this even possible to attain while simultaneously preparing my students for the standardized tests that determine so much of their educational future?

Hazing gone awry?! What’s that?!

2008-05-07T22:19:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been so stunned you could barely speak. I’m over it, but that’s how I felt after reading an article just now from The Buffalo (New York) News. Sadly, I wasn’t surprised. Just staggered.

To begin with, the headline speaks of “Hazing Gone Awry” … instead of “Hazing By Rape.” In defense of the newspaper, rape was not the charge. The article explains that three high school varsity athletes are accused of what amounts – in my mind – to anally raping two junior varsity players on a team bus. In New York State, you get 12½ to 25 years for forced intercourse but only 2⅓ to 7 years for forced insertion of a foreign object. Go figure. Could it be that the crime more often perpetrated on one sex is taken many times more seriously than the one more often perpetrated on another? But don’t worry; it was just hazing gone awry.

Not angry yet? OK. Further down, the article explains that, in addition to the students, “Two coaches aboard the bus were charged with endangering the welfare of a child” for failing to intervene. Excuse me? These were the chaperones! Not conspiracy to commit rape? Not even accessory? What kind of court system would let this unconscionable behavior pass for a misdemeanor? “Endangering” is what people have been charged with for cursing in front of a child or driving recklessly with a child on board. Allowing the rape of a child is just “endangering”? Oh my.

Chances are, neither the adults nor the student offenders will get jail time anyway. The reporters did a good job of citing the outcomes of similar cases. Generally, offenders have gotten away with pleading to a reduced charge and doing a little community service. Some will say they shouldn’t go to jail. In fact, the article quotes professor and psychologist Doug P. Jowdy’s opinion that “healing … those responsible for the incident” (whom I would call offenders, but he doesn’t) is more appropriate than their incarceration.

But, if it were possible, it gets even more disturbing the further you read! Susan Lipkin, a psychologist and author is quoted as saying, “There is a tradition to initiate new members on a team, particularly on male athletic teams … It normally involves older team members taking steps to humiliate and demean the boy at the lowest level … The common trend over the past five years or more has been basically to turn a boy into a girl by penetration ... In other words, they get engaged in homosexual play and then they call the victim gay because he’s been sodomized. Ironically, it’s the perpetrators that are committing the homosexual act.”

Where do I start? Let’s begin at the end: “homosexual play”? Since when is rape playful? Who was feeling playful, the haters? One presumes they were feeling, instead, entitled, contemptuous, blood-thirsty and possibly aroused. Or is it the bystanders we should think of as feeling playful? One hopes that at least some of them were feeling nauseated, terrorized, and as helpless as the targeted youths. Were the adults on the bus feeling playful, perhaps? More likely … God, I have no idea what adults who stood by and let this happen could have been feeling. At least the psychologist goes on to point out the irony of the whole equation.

But just as troubling as the rape-as-play concept is the notion that turning a boy into a girl is the worst possible humiliation. Not turning him into a pig or an object. A girl. Could the psychologists and the reporters please give even passing mention to the need to address misogyny starting long before high school, please?

And the equating of female with gay? I know I’m supposed to feel insulted … but as a woman or a gay person? Where are the conversations with students about both “accusations” being compliments, at least according to some families’ values? Have schools in upstate New York been having those conversations this week? Because we need so much more than lectures about the rules. Or even in-depth classes to teach skills for standing up to bullies and to explore the value of breaking a code of silence. We need classes that speak to the awful, ugly prejudices that lead to such horrific acts. Through literature. Through history. Through civics and geography. We need for schools to take on the misogyny and the homophobia that consummate their relationship in rape.

Finally, let’s revisit Dr. Lipkin’s use of the word “tradition.” If this is a tradition, and I agree that it is, then there are victims of last year’s hazing and the year before’s walking among us. Those who have not yet resorted to suicide have undoubtedly begun self-medicating, dropped out, and/or run away to the streets. We need a community commitment to track them down and offer them wrap-around mental health services at no cost. It’s our institutions that allowed – even facilitated -- their being tortured. I suspect most of them have at the very least given up sports, but they are in our homes and in some cases our schools. And still on most teams are the bystanders: a whole lot of young people carrying huge burdens of guilt and shame for not intervening. We need to work towards their healing, to stop the cycle of this incredible “tradition” today.

How will early and meaningful prevention education happen? How will mental health services for targets and bystanders happen? Only with, as Dr. Jowdy suggests, courageous leadership. From the superintendent, the principal and the athletic director. From the school board, the mayor and the governor. From the parents and guardians. From student government and the clergy. And from the prosecutor and the legislature.

One last thing: Wilson High School in upstate New York is hardly unique. This sort of sexual assault in the guise of hazing has happened this year in every state in the union. It usually isn’t held in the light by brave targets and their families or by the press. So thank you to these young men and to Buffalo News reporters Paul Westmoore and Aaron Besecker and their editors.

But considering that it happens in your back yard, too, what are you doing for the walking wounded? And what are you doing to help your staff and students to explore the values that could make your school district (or your state or university) the next home to what someone will call “hazing gone awry”?